The truth behind beauty and the beast
by Xee Metallium
Summary: Xelloss and Filia discuss the Pro and cons and cons...of X/F fiction. And other couplings ^^;;
1. Introducing our guests!

Disclaimer:  
I don't own Slayers! please don't sue me! think of all the free advertising FanFiction creates!  
  
Anyway, do I have a special treat for you X/F and Anti-X/F fans? Yup, we're going to find out what they think of all this fanfiction flying around about them. As you can see, seated on the left is Filia And seated on the right is... is... WAS Xelloss. Sorry, I think we're going to have some technical troubles keeping the mazoku on stage.   
Umm... whilst my helpers go looking for Xellie, lets spend sometime speaking about the background to this interview.   
Now Filia is a RyuZoku. Xelloss is a Mazoku. They are opposites. Even their outfits and hair are in complimentry opposing colours.  
And opposites attract.   
  
Filia: They also neutralise eachother.  
  
*sweatdrop* I was about to say that myself. Opposites attract and destroy eachother.   
  
They also can combine to create a happy medium. Like Fire and Ice would make warm water! You could also argue that water would put out the fire... This is getting far too technical.  
  
Xelloss: *Ambles on stage with a glass of water* Hallo! Yare yare... I couldn't find the drinking water. Apparently some dragon stole it all for their teapot. They must be pretty selfish, don't you think?  
  
Filia: *Sips tea* Don't start. I'm not here to talk TO you. I'm here to talk about you namagomi.  
  
Xelloss: *shakes head* I come here, taking time out from my busy job, try to make conversation, and I get insulted straight away.  
  
aww... isn't that cute folks? See, they started talking to eachother straight away. SIT DOWN XELLOSS! Now that we have some orderly behaviour *Doesn't notice Xel making faces at Filia* we can ask some questions! So, what are your general thoughts toward X/F fanfiction?  
  
*awkward silence*  
  
Filia first?  
  
Filia: I'd rather not be paired up with that Namagomi. He's the most egotistical, self-centered, manipulative, IMMATURE...  
  
Xelloss: Calm down. You'll get your garters in a twist. n_n;  
  
Filia: Pardon?!  
  
Nevermind, lets just get on with this. Is there any X/F that you've really hated or.... liked?  
  
Filia: I find it hard to find a viable reason for me to pair up with him, of all people. That monster, you know what he did back in the war?! I've heard things! That backstabbing monster!  
  
Xelloss: *indifferently* I didn't think good guys were racist?   
  
I didn't get you here so you could bicker on stage. ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!!  
  
Filia: Well, the ones I can just about stand are the ones where Xelloss tries to become good, or gets made good by some freak trick of nature. They're ones are when he gets into trouble with his master for such things. Especially if he dies at the end.   
  
Xelloss: Isn't she such a friendly dragon?  
  
Well, you answer the question then.  
  
Xelloss: I would never attempt to be a good guy just to be with her. So I don't like those ones. I like the ones where I come along, trick her into thinking I like her, do my stuff and leave.  
  
Filia: *twitch* What... Stuff?  
  
Xelloss: that's a secret.   
  
Filia: 0_0  
  
Xelloss: Like killing her, taking val's egg... *under breath* Making evil baby Ryu for Juu-ou to use...  
  
Filia: I heard that, Monster!   
  
Xelloss: I'm not a monster.  
  
Filia: are!  
  
Xelloss: NOT!  
  
Filia: you told me! 'don't forget, I'm a monster!'  
  
Xelloss: No. I'm a Mazoku. Please.   
  
Filia: same thing.   
  
Xelloss: Well... I rather like the fanfiction, so long as Filia is shown as her barbaric, violent, gullable self.   
  
Filia: I'LL SHOW YOU BARBARIC!  
  
STOP IT!!!! SIT DOWN!  
  
Is there anything you two actually like about eachother?  
  
Filia: I don't like Xelloss one bit. *hpmh*  
  
Xelloss: Filia's so amazingly destructive when she's angry. She has little restraint over her temper. I like that.  
  
Filia: you're just saying that to upset me, arent you?  
  
Xelloss: Like I said earlier. That's a secret.  
  
I did some research and based on it, I think you two are a perfect match! Firstly, the most words spoken by yourselves in conversation in Try are to eachother!   
  
Filia: *nods* this is true. NAMAGOMI! NAMAGOMI!   
  
Xelloss: I have to agree with Filia. Most of our 'conversations' were little more than my response to her petty bickering.  
  
Xelloss, what are Filia's bad points?  
  
Xelloss: Well, she's a dragon...  
  
Filia: You called me racist!  
  
Xelloss: She took all the water. She's barbaric, violent, bad tempered, won't listen to a word anybody else says.   
  
And what don't you like about her?  
  
Both: . . .  
  
Well, we already heard Filia's thoughts earlier.   
  
Filia: I have MUCH more to add.  
  
Let's talk over the Pro's and Con's of you two getting it organised, hm?   
  
Filia: Con! He's a mazoku!   
  
Xelloss: Con! she's a dragon!  
  
Filia: Con, it's not going to happen.  
  
Xelloss: Con, I have better things to do with my time  
  
Filia: Con, I wouldn't want a mazoku look after my kids.  
  
Xelloss: Con, I wouldn't WANT to look after her kids.  
  
Filia: Con. Umm... It's stupid for a dragon to pair up with a mazoku.  
  
Xelloss: Pro. I look extra Kawaii in a lot of these fics.  
  
Filia: Con, he looks extra kawaii in a lot of these fics.  
  
Xelloss: Pro, Filia doesn't like them  
  
Filia: con, everyone forgets he's a MONSTER.  
  
Xelloss: Pro, everyone remembers I'm a mazoku not a monster.  
  
Filia: Con, angry Fanboys  
  
Xelloss: Pro, angry fangirls.  
  
Filia: Con. He can't love!  
  
Xelloss: Pro, I'd get to irritate her all day  
  
Filia: con, he'd get to irritate me all day   
  
Xelloss: Con, I'd have to be with her all day  
  
Filia: Pro, that would teach him to behave.  
  
Xelloss: ...  
  
Alright you two. Filia, what would your ideal partner be like, irrespective of Race and such?  
  
Filia: Someone kind and caring, brave and respected. Somebody who'd help save the world. With a good sense of humour and good looking too!  
  
Xelloss?  
  
Filia: *cough*MALE*cough*  
  
Xelloss: that's a secret.  
  
Filia: I answered! You should too!  
  
Xelloss: 'That is a secret' is an answer.  
  
Woah, guys, you actually act like eachother. Deny it?  
  
Xel/Fi: We don't act at all alike. HMPH!  
  
Oh you do. Now, I want you two to either shake hands, and acknowledge eachother as civilised creatures, or kiss and never see eachother again.   
  
Xelloss: I thought this wasn't an X/F fiction?  
  
Filia: yeah?  
  
Oh dear! Did I forget to mention that? It's not an X/F I just thought you two should try it.  
  
Filia: This is your fault Xelloss!  
  
Xelloss: Eh?! I can't help it if the author's as bad as I am  
  
Filia: I will neither of those. I can stay here and drink tea all day if I have too.  
  
Xelloss: Forget writing a report on Morning Glories... I would rather dress in drag and sing the whole of Disney's 'it's a small world'.  
  
Well, guys, I'll hold you to that, what's it gonna be?  
  
Filia/Xelloss: *look at the audience* 


	2. After the break...

Disclaimer: I STILL haven't saved enough money to buy the rights to Slayers.  
*****  
Well, the two are still here. We're going to spare the audience of Xel's threat, I mean, I've no problem with him dressing in drag, but that song. Ugh!  
Filia's drinking tea in that corner and Xelloss... *looks around* XELLOSS! you're not leaving until this is finished.   
  
Xelloss: *comes back on stage with a box of paper* I was going to get started on my essay.  
  
Yes, well, Throw that aside for a minute. We've been ravaged out back. Phonecalls, emails and Faxes...  
  
Xelloss: *nudges Filia* Whats those?  
Filia: No idea. Now let me be namagomi.  
  
But it seems people aren't happy with what you two are saying! So, answer me these questions.  
  
Xelloss: *furiously busy writing about flowers*   
  
Don't ignore me. Now why is it that you always pick on Filia?   
  
Xelloss: *looks up from his report and bites the quill pen* ugh, feathery. That's a secret.  
  
Do you WANT me to make this into an X/F fiction? Because I have the power.   
  
Xelloss: She's fun to pick on! Ah, how often can you make someone so angry they could destroy a whole town? You'd prefer it if I picked on Amelia and got the 'Mazoku destroying lecture of justice and general praise to love and life'?   
  
But Xel, aren't you just using that as an excuse to be near her?   
  
Xelloss: No, I do it because I want to.  
  
To be near Filia, gotcha ^.~  
  
Xelloss *ignores the author and goes back to the pile of paper*   
  
Moving on! Filia! You know Xelloss is a mazoku, so you expect him to be annoying. With that in mind, why does he get to you so easily?  
  
Filia: *sighs and puts her tea down* He's not just any old mazoku don't forget. He's a demon among demons. It infuriates me that I'd have to associate with such a creature.  
  
Even though you like him?  
  
Filia: NO! He's just annoying. Okay?  
  
Xelloss: Thank you.  
  
Hey, Xelloss, same goes for you. Filia seems to be the only person that upsets you. Why?  
  
Xelloss: I know where this question is heading, and well, would you like the only person that gets you annoyed?!  
  
That doesn't answer the question.  
  
Xelloss: Eh, well... *scratches head* How many other people in the series talk to me like that?  
  
Okay... Um... Zelgadiss, you didn't react to Valgaav insulting you..  
  
Xelloss: Zelgadiss I expect. Valgaav, I was fighting against, so I expected it. Filia on the other hand, I didn't do anything to deserve it!  
  
So why did you save her when you were fighting Val?  
  
Xelloss: *sweatdrops* So I could... drop a heavy... dragon... on him...  
  
Filia: *Snatches up Mace-sama* What was that Namagomi?!  
  
Xelloss: *eyes mace-sama* Oh, it appears that Golden Dragons are deaf as well as violent.  
  
BEFORE a fight starts out, lets more on once again. Filia you say mazoku cannot love.   
  
Filia: Obiviously. *snorts and goes back to her tea*  
  
Xelloss, what do you got to say about that?  
  
Xelloss: That is a se..  
  
This WILL be X/F if you say that!  
  
Xelloss: A Ryuuzoku can hate. That one hates me. *points at Filia*   
  
I get you Xel. Hows that report getting along?   
  
Xelloss: I stopped it because we were talking about Filia-baka!  
  
Come on guys. look, Either give eachother a little apologetic hug, kiss then never see eachother again...or stay doing what your doing all day.   
  
Xelloss: *goes back to his report*   
Filia: *turns away*  
  
Well, still no resolution here. What should they do? 


	3. Part 2!

Disclaimer:  
Aww maaaan. Do I have to do this yet again?  
Xel: *nod* besides I wouldn't want to be property of you anyway and if you don't do it...  
I Don't own Slayers. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My muses are mean!  
Xel: Thats what you get for choosing mazoku muses.   
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Well, here we are again, and I must say Xelloss, that report is very nicely done. Very detailed, lots of drawings.  
  
Xelloss: Thank you. I find it far more absorbing than dealing with selfish RyuuZoku.  
  
Filia: *tail pops out, bares fangs* NAMAGOMI!  
  
Xelloss: *glances up from his report, not bothered* yare yare... haven't you thought up something original by now?  
  
Filia: I'll show you something original! *starts to transform*  
Xelloss: *Gives Filia the one eye open amused look* You really want to be naked infront of all these people?   
  
Filia: *in dragon form* SHUT UP! ZEROSUUUUUU!   
  
Umm...uhh... guys! GUYS! hang on a sec...  
  
*Sign appears saying 'we are currently experiencing technical difficulties we will return shortly' with cheezy happy music and a picture of a chibi dragon chasing a chibi mazoku. - crashing and banging ensues.   
A little later the scene returns to normal, Xelloss rubbing a little cross band-aid on his head and Filia glaring at him.*  
  
NOW can I continue? Thank you.   
More questions from the audience for you two! You're going to like this one.   
  
Xelloss, Lina Inverse is equally destructive, if not more so than Filia. So why not bother her instead?  
  
Xelloss: That is a se...  
  
Once more, and you WILL be punished.  
  
Xelloss: Lina-san? She has a much better sense of self control and it's not so easy for me to rile her.  
  
Filia: Not to mention she could toast you with a dragon slave.  
  
Xelloss: I don't think so. She takes my teasing in goodwill.   
  
Umm... *sweatdrops* Lina, more self control than Filia? *edges away from Filia slightly* ooookay. Next question. Filia, you can do the whole teleporting thing too, right? So why don't you just get away from him?  
  
Xelloss: *smirk*  
  
Filia: Well, when we were after darkstar I had no choice but to stay with Lina's group and HE *points* just HAD to join in, didn't he?! I normally do now. Besides, being the evil mazoku he is, he could probably follow me wherever I go.   
  
Xelloss: now why would I want to follow a /dragon/?  
  
Who knows? um ... The one asking these questions also wanted to know if you remembered the author brand truth serum?   
  
Xelloss/filia: WHO COULD FORGET!  
  
*snickers* Maybe a seperate fic to redose you both on that, um... since we were on the subject then, Xelloss, which do you prefer. X/F, X/L, X/A, X/Z or something else perhaps? ~.^  
  
Xelloss: That's a secret!  
  
You're going to regret saying that in a minute, buddy. Well, how about Martina? Sylphiel perhaps? Gaav? Rezo?  
  
Xelloss: All of those people have more in common with me than Filia.   
  
Riiiiiiiiiight. Just for that secret comment, stand up.  
  
Xelloss: *stands up*  
  
Kiss Filia.  
  
Filia: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie! *scrambles over the sofa weilding mace-sama* Don't touch me you freak!   
  
Xelloss: *turns away* There's no need to be like that, I have no intention to.  
  
*AHEM* Do it. Or I'll .... *whipsers to Xelloss*  
  
Xelloss: *Horrifed look and steps toward Filia*   
  
Filia: Nooooooooo! Don't! STAY AWAY!  
  
X X X X X X X X Time for a commercial break!X X X X X X X X X   
  
**************  
*jingle starts*  
Is your house smelling bad?  
won't some thing to clean it make you glad?   
well, our latest product,   
here you go,   
Fibreeze, made by,   
Smellmaster Phibbrizzo!  
  
**************  
  
Xelloss: 0_o;   
  
*Waves* hi, I hope you're enjoying the show so far ^-^   
If you have suggestions for questions (or anything else) let me know!   
Feel free to ask anything, I have no worries about making the two uncomfortable on stage.   
The more feedback I get on this ficcie, the more I'll be enthusiastic about writing more! 


	4. audience can join in from now!

Disclaimer: I don't own either Xelloss or Filia. (I think they own eachother ¬.^ )  
  
Audience Member: It's not fair to 'punish' Xelloss while at the same time punishing Filia who didn't do anything.  
  
Xelloss: I know, the author is terrible.  
  
You what? *twitch*  
  
Xelloss: Nothing Author-san.   
  
Minimerc: *runs on to stage and pushes Xelloss at Filia*   
You two better kiss or I'll take Valgaav away and sing all about Love Justice and Truth until it makes you throw up!   
  
Xelloss: *sweatdrops* I don't want to kiss those lizard lips.  
  
Filia: *raises mace-sama* Don't touch me mazoku.  
  
You know, I could go get Amelia...   
  
Xelloss: Fine, I'll kiss Filia, okay?   
  
Filia: Don't you dare come one step closer you little creep.  
  
Xelloss: *blows Filia a kiss then sits down*   
  
Uhh.. dammit. Smartass. Next time, I'll make you have to touch her!   
  
Still, Three people have raised the next point. So answer.   
Xelloss, you always seem to be flirting with Filia. "Now that's the Filia-san i know." you said at the Darkstar battle. What did you mean by "Now that's the dragon I love?"   
  
Xelloss: Don't you just hate it when someone you don't like won't let you be?  
  
Filia: he obviously said that for the annoyance value.   
  
Hang on Filia. Yeah, but Xelloss, she gave you that nice soft smile she only saves for you everyonce and awhile.   
  
Xelloss: Thats Filia's business. Not mine.  
  
Filia: *blushes* Well, by then I realised that we had a common goal to save the world from Darkstar. I was happy when I realised Mazoku weren't out to destroy the world then. Besides, I was trying to be... well... you know. We didn't have any choice but to get along reasonably well. And that...um... I I never thought a Mazoku would be capable of realising that.  
  
Um, back to the questions. Could it be that the reason you guys argue all the time is because of your difference of opinion. And you know what everyone says, "Opposites do attract" Look at Zel and Amelia. Gourry and Lina.   
  
Filia: That doesn't always work out.   
  
Xelloss: Well, Lina and Gourry have a fair bit in common. Like their food consumption rate. Their general food consumption full stop. They're both pretty good with a sword too. As for Amelia and Zelgadiss... They both um... well, they just make a good team, unlike me and Filia, we always quarrel. Ah, yes, they use the same type of magic too.   
  
Filia: true. true.  
  
More from the audience guys... Filia don't say that Mazoku's can't love. No one knows that for sure. Well, Since we have a mazoku on hand to ask....  
  
Xelloss: Oh, yes, we can love. I love teasing Filia!   
  
*grumbles* moving on I think! Filia, It's easier for him to get you riled up because he knows you like him. If you don't like him, then tell me why you tried to help him?  
  
Filia: because I'm on the side of good. Standing there and watching Xelloss get killed by Valgaav is most certainly a mazoku attitude.  
  
Same for you Xellos. If you didn't like Filia, then why didn't you just kill her when you had the chance?  
  
Xelloss: Because, I wasn't told to. Anyway, I never said I disliked her enough to kill her, I just said I don't like her. Besides, we needed her in the Darkstar battle.  
  
Wouldn't you say that the evidence points to the fact that you to could at least be friends? Look, Xel, Fi, don't take this the wrong way, but on my bedroom wall I have a nice poster of you two together. I also got that figure of you filia, it comes with the cutest lil chibi xelloss!   
  
Xelloss: I know you also have a poster with me and Valgaav on, what are you implying?  
  
ho hum... nothing...   
  
Audience Member: I have a question. Ahem. Filia, the ridiculously overwhelming percentage of fan works out there have you paired up with Xelloss, with a sprinkling of Valgaav. Does this wasteland barren of creativity bother you any? Are there any alternatives you would like to see explored? Of course, this is the opposite for Xelloss, who gets paired up with anything that has a heartbeat. And sometimes things that don't.  
  
Filia: Does it bother me? Well, I'm ... I don't pay much attention really! I think Valgaav is quite impossible. I'm going to raise him as if I were his mother.   
Alternatives... alternatives. Well that would be a nice change. How about another Dragon or even a human?  
  
Xelloss: without a heartbeat? 0.o   
  
You mean a dragon like Milgasia?  
  
Filia: Milgasia... Milgasia.... Oh! I know him. He's a really nice guy. I guess that wouldn't be too bad! It'd make good reading if Xelloss got jealous.  
  
Xelloss: Why would I get jealous? Besides, If Milgasia did get on my bad side, which he wouldn't because he's scared of me, that would be a pretty boring story with the death of the guy in the first few lines, don't you think?  
  
Filia: *ignores Xelloss* And humans... I don't mean like Gourry. he's too.. um...  
  
Stupid?  
  
Filia: yes. I suppose a Zelgadiss one would be halfway passable. You know, I do feel sorry for him sometimes. But thats not really ideal. A lot of fanfic writers could explore the route of original characters too. I read one lately that was very good!  
Then I could be portrayed as an independant strong willed single woman. I don't really care what they do with the namagomi.  
  
Question for Xelloss. same as Filia, but the opposite way round.   
  
Xelloss: That is the result of fangirls... and boys living out their fantasies through fanfiction writing. Obviously I don't agree with them all. I also get repeatedly killed and punished and suffer terribly. But you know what they say. Fanfiction writers do such things as it gives them more to write about their favourite character. Such is the price of being popular. Oh well.  
  
Whilst we're lingering about this subject, Xelloss, what IS your relationship like with The Greater Beast?   
  
Xelloss: Juu-ou sama? Secret! thats what it's like!   
  
Aww... not even a little bit on info on how well you two get along. And IF you say 'that its secret' just once more... I'll think up something terrible. How about a Xelloss/Sherret... I mean Ferra... I mean Sherra. dammit. a Xelloss/Sherra fic, hm? Now, about you and Zelas?   
  
Xelloss: That is a secr...... is highly confidential information.  
  
I guess I should let you off for that one -_-;;  
  
Xelloss: *powerposes behind the author*   
  
I still haven't reached any firm conclusions yet. Do you two like eachother or not?!   
  
Xelloss/filia: Hmph! *xelloss goes back to his report, Filia sips tea*  
  
yeesh. I'm kaput. I need water. There will be more ^-^ I'm not letting them leave until I get some sort answer.  
Thanks to all those who provided questions and ideas... keep 'em coming.  
  
Xelloss: or don't.  
  
'cuse me little boy, I'm trying to finish up this part. *waves* after the break. Oh, have I got a suprise for these two!! 


	5. part 3

**Disclaimer:**  
Mwahaha. I don't own any rights to Slayers, and I'm not making any profit out of these fanworks, BUT *Fuzzyflyingtackleglomps Xelloss* he is under my control! Ehehehehe! And I wuv 'im! Yeeeeeeees I do!

* * *

  
Xelloss: *sweatdrops at rabid fangirl* I think I prefer Filia-san.   
  
*Still glomped on*  
  
Xelloss: *poke poke* Oi... oi... Zee... the fic... *poke* Zee... *warps on to Filia's lap*  
  
Filia: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!   
  
Xello-sama...where'd ya go....? Doko wa?   
  
Filia: Get off me..NAMAGOMI!!!!! *takes a good swing with mace-sama. Xelloss flies through the ceiling. Then falls back on to his chair.*  
  
Dammit, the fic! Ahem, hey folks. Sorry about that ^^;; Lina and co will be along at some point. I was going to invite them earlier on, but there's too many restaurants en route.   
  
Filia: Do you have to?  
  
Xelloss: Even Amelia?  
  
Even Amelia.  
  
Now guys... I think this is an excellent question, from Ruby Moon Metallium.  
  
Xelloss: why does everyone call themselves Metallium?   
  
Coz it's a cool name? And I do it because you're my anime husband!   
  
Xelloss: I am NOT!   
  
Yeah you are. you kawaii little akuma you... yes you!   
  
Xelloss: *sigh* the fic?   
  
Oh, Ruby's question. Ahem.   
If you were both humans but you both still had the same personallity, would you ever consider to date each other? Remember, neither of you were or ever would be a Mazoku or a Dragon.   
  
Filia: . . .  
  
Xelloss: you know you were going on about me being Kawaii?  
  
Oh, no no no. You wanted me to stop that. So answer the question.  
  
Xelloss: *writes more of his essay*   
  
Filia: If that was the case, he'd be a mass murderer or something. So no.  
  
Xelloss: *shakes head* If I was human Filia would land major damage with that mace of hers. So no.  
  
Those are _really really_ lame answers guys. Besides if you were human Xello-sama, you'd avoid making her mad enough to do that, no?  
  
Xelloss: And then I'd have a different personallity!   
  
*grumbles* I know thats true... But come on, Filia, are there any of Xelloss' personality traits you could bear with in a human partner?   
  
Filia: maybe his sense of humour if it wasn't always directed at **me!**  
  
Xelloss?   
  
Xelloss: Why, her destructiveness of course!   
  
how about the next question? Umm... *points in the audience* you?   
  
Dark fire angel: *Snickers* Me! Me! I got a question! *Jumps up and down on stage* Oooooooh Filia? *Walks to Fi and winks an eye at her* Ok, if your are positive you don't like Xelly, how come he is able to annoy you? If you don't like him then it shouldn't matter to you what he says... right? You should just ignore him, but you don't! You always end up fighting back!   
  
Filia: I won't be out done by a mazoku. Particularly _that_ one.  
  
Xelloss: See? She takes me so personally!   
  
I noticed. *sigh* thats because she likes you and her arguing with you is just her way of denying it in a fashion that should make it seem as if you two hate eachother. Denial.   
  
Next part of your question?  
  
Dark fire angel: And as for you Xelly... *Giggles as she nears him* Filia is about the only character, if not the only, to be able to annoy YOU, the ever-genki mazoku... why do you let her get to you? ^-^  
  


Xelloss: >.< eso un secreto! ^.~ 

*Large demon head* ANSWER HER QUESTION! 

Xelloss: *depression lines* She just gets to me. 

Why? 

Xelloss: *mutters something about stupid gullable humans then naive and annoying dragons spoiling everything.* 

Filia: *spotlight* Because I was there you couldn't use Lina's group for your evil schemes. 

Xelloss: You used them instead. 

Filia: You're just bitter because some one beat you to it. 

Xelloss: *Evil smile and sly look* Filia, you would make such a mazoku! 

*sits and reads Xelloss' essay* no wonder! I plant them way to early in the year! 

Filia: WHAT WAS THAT?! 

Xelloss: I said you'd make a perfect mazoku Filia-san n_n;; 

Filia: oh really? Well... *reaches for mace-sama* Where...? *Lifts her skirt and searches for the lost mace* 

Xelloss: *falls off his chair laughing* Nice view, Filia-san! 

Filia: IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *drops skirt and flumps on chair* PERVERT NAMAGOMI!!!!!!! 

Xelloss: *Still laughing* 

Filia: WHERE'S MY MACE?!?! 

Xelloss: *glances at the author, reading his essay* Aaah, sore wa himitsu desu! 

Filia: Why you... 

Xelloss: I think I left something in the oven... *Zips backstage* 

Filia: I... Will.... kill.... him! *also dashes backstage.* 

Well, um... I guess this calls for another commerical bre.... 

*dustclouds, stars, crashing and banging backstage* 

Time for another break methinks!.... eheheh... roll the ad. *Runs backstage* 

* * *

Come down to our store!  
we stock everything... hair wax... sword polish... eyebrow brushes... and the best accessories any high up demonic being would be proud to be seen in.   
Visit Gaav's accessories for the latest in trenchcoats we have every type of trench you could want, from sophisticated inspector to dirty old flasher style!   
For one week only, buy any orange trenchcoat and get a free Sailor moon cosplay suit! thats right! 

* * *

Xelloss: 0.o Who's sponsoring this event? 

Guess? 

Xelloss: Ruby eye shabranigdu-sama? 

Naaah. wrong. Anyways... more questions.... raise some more points to our interviewees.... and we'll be back on shortly! The guests should arrive soon too. 

Xelloss: why am I out here? Isn't Filia dustcloud fighting herself out there now? 

ooooooooooh yeah. *throws Xelloss backstage* you'd better get back out there! ^-^ aww... what a couple they make. *snickers and pulls out a bag* in here... truth serum... wedding dress... love potion... drive through chapel... @_@ don't ask how that fits in the bag... Awww! Xello-sama's suit! I adore him in that. It's all purple dontcha know? Hehe... I can't wait to get on to the next part of the show. Anything else I could use? Any thing any one wants to ask? Ya all better hurry before they destroy the place and *ducks and teleports out of the path of flying debris* escape...   


* * *

lol, I'm having so much fun writing this fic!! 


	6. Part 4

**Disclaimer: **Once again another day has passed and I sitll don't own slayers.

* * *

*peeks out from backstage* Has the ad finished? *CRASH* They're fighting Minimerc. *ducks more debris* Xelloss has hidden mace-sama and won't tell Fi where he put it. *more banging around* Halfling rogue, Anybody who goes to that store obvious deserves what they get for even thinking of it. *ducks yet more random objects* eheheee... Roll another ad... *dashes out back once more* WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY! I'M TRYING TO HOST A ...... 

*Picture of Dynast and Sherra*  
The abilitly to revive lost minions... - priceless.  
For everything else, there's Mazokucard. 

*Sighs as Xel and Filia settle back in place* Lina's still eating ^^;; so lets get on with this shall we guys?

Xelloss: When I finish my report, can I go?

Maybe. depends when you finish it.

Xelloss: Done it.

No then. Anyway I have some more questions, 

Xelloss: You always have some questions 

this time from Digi-riven. 

What would you two do if your roles were reversed hmmm? 

Xelloss: If I was a dragon and she was a Mazoku? 

Filia: I'd destroy him, thats what, using my unfair mazoku-ness! 

Xelloss: You'd have to learn to do what you're told first. 

Filia: I do! I just don't what you say 

Xelloss: oh, really? 

Ahem! riven-chan's next question!! 

What would you two do if Zee decided to magically bind you to each other? 

Xelloss: *Death to Dragons glare at Zee* 

Xellieeeeeeee! Don't glare at me! Aieeeeeeeeee! It wasn't me! 

Xelloss: Well, if that happened I'd... Um... 

Filia: I'd beat him to a bloddy pulp! 

Xelloss: *To the author* I'd rip you up with a Zelas Brid, that's what! 

*shudder* okay okay... *grumbles* Why did she suggest.... *evil grin and wink at Xelloss* You know what I'm thinking? 

Xelloss: Unforunately, yes. just file that away in your list of future fanfics, and get on with it. 

*snaps fingers and Xelloss and Filia are teleported centrestage holding hands* 

Filia: Nooooooooo! *socks Xel in the face with her other hand* LET ME GO NAMAGOMI! 

Xelloss: no, you let go! *tries to pull away* 

*snickers like the mazoku-authoress she is* 

Filia: GET HIM OFF ME! >.<* 

Xelloss: n_n;; this is kind of nice, dont you think, Filia-san? 

Filia: IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *faints* 

*takes the spell off* lets get back to business! 

Xelloss: Oh my. *goes back to his seat* I guess she's fallen for me. 

Filia: *goes groggily back to her seat* 

NOT A WORD GUYS! Right, next question... 

Xelloss what would you do if someone proposed to Filia? 

Xelloss: Celebrate fanfiction authors' creativity 

Filia what would you do if someone proposed to Xellos? 

FIlia: Send that person a condolences card with my deepest sympathy. 

Xelloss: *looks hurt* That is an extremely mean thing to say Filia-san 

Filia: Well, it's true. 

Xelloss: I guess I should have expected a drago... 

Another question! Anyone? 

Crystal Dream:*coughs* Hello! I am Crystal Dream, but most call me Rie. Oh yeah...question. This one's directed toward Filia! In that episode about the town that banned dragons, Xelloss insulted you and your people pretty badly. But...if you don't care about him or his opinions, then why did you let that get to you so much? I mean, you looked like you were going to have a nervous breakdown over what he said! What's up with that? 

Xelloss: Don't forget what she said to deserve that. Decreipt old dark lord! I even asked her how the fire dragon king was, and thats her way of being civilised? If you ask me that sho... 

Filia: He _knew_ how I'd react, and used that against me to make it look like I was proving his point. It's psychological warfare! I can't believe I proved his point. That monster was using me as a free all you can eat buffet of emotions. That got to me. 

*points in audience* you wanted to ask something? 

Dark fire angel: *Crosses arms and grumbles* Xelly... 'eso es un secreto' is NOT an answer... afterall, it's still 'Sore wa himitsu desu' but in spanish, NOT FAIR!! Ahem, anyhow, another question... *Walks up and down stage, still crossed armed* Ok, what would you two do if you were the only two beings left on the face of the earth (Or on the universe)? ^-^ Straight answer, please... 'k? Or else... *Evil smile* 

Xelloss: Destroy the world without being stopped amd celebrate a victory for the mazoku! 

Filia: uhh... panic? 

Minimerc wants to know why you complimented Filia Xel. 

Xelloss: Because I _Kknew_ she'd take it the wrong way. 

you would do that. She also said "And Filia-san we all know you are lying through your fangs. If what you said was true then why did you blush in response?" 

Filia:*blink blink* I blushed? 

Xelloss:You went a beautiful shade of blood red! 

Filia: I didn't know that. But I wasn't lying. honestly. 

Hey, Xel? 

Xelloss: Hmmm? 

What would happen if Zelas thought/knew you had a crush on Filia or something? 

Xelloss: Ah! now that is... 

No 

Xelloss:Sore wa... 

No. 

Xelloss: eso... 

NO! 

Xelloss: This is something every intrepid X/F fic writer has explored no doubt. 

answer the damn question Xelloss. 

Xelloss: Something secret. 

Guh. YOU are hopeless! Someone else wants to ask something anyway. 

Minimerc: Filia-san, I don't get you . I mean you are angry at Xelloss-san for something that didn't even involve you. Sure he killed alot of your race but heck, they deserved it. I mean he hasn't really done anything to you except annoy you but that started after you called him "Namogami". All he was trying to do was talk to you but you just went crazy. 

Filia: I someone killed your people on such a huge scale, and could possibly do it again, would **you** want to be around them? I have morals you know. Something Mazoku don't. 

Xelloss: More than most dragons. 

Minimerc: And now Xellos, you know you are wrong. So wrong. Just because Fi called Zelas-sama a 'decrept old lord' doesn't mean you have to directly attack her with insults but then again you are very loyal to your master. Besides, you are the only guy that hasn't been hit with mace-sama during the Darkstar series. Poor Gourry got hit twice. Why is that? She like only swung her mace at you once. 

Filia: 0.o She's right. I didn't manage to clock you one did I?

Xelloss: Because I'm too fast for a stinky dragon.

Random audience members: *gasp* ooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh.......

Filia: *twitch* what was that, Namagomi?

Xelloss: Why do you always ask me to repeat myself? Senil.....*jumps back out of mace-sama's range* Where'd she find that?!

I gave it back to her, when she burst into tears out back. 

Filia: *chases Xel around and around the stage* 

*sigh* ADVERT!

*Icecream van jingles play*

For a limited time only, buy 5 of Ha-ou's snowcones and get a free copy of The Dynast's 'How to think up original names for your minions' book!  
As used by Dynast Grauscherra himself to name Grou, Grau and Sherra. 

Xel! Filia! Not near the FOOD! 

FIREBALLL! 

* * *

oh dear. I'll get them all organised. Hopefully Lina and co will have finished eating by the time I write the next chapter! So, get ready to ask the rest of the gang about xelly and filly too! 

Xelloss: *runs aand sits on the chair* they're coming now.

*Lina drags a burnt Filia on to the stage, followed by Gourry, Amelia and Zelgadiss, they all take their place on the sofa*

woo! after the advert! 

*sad music* he was a great mazoku, until one day... *flashbacks from Slayers next* he was struck down by an evil maggot, a flat chested kid and a very annoying mazoku. In memory of this great lord, buy a copy of his autobiography - "How I live with a drunken witch, and insane fish, a cold git and a hellbrat." All proceeds go towards a lord Gaav memorial statue. Thank you. 


	7. Part 5

**Disclaimer**: Guess what everyone?! I don't own slayers, blah blah.... 

Xel: Oh that was just great, oh high and mighty author-san! 

*coughs and looks around* shut up Xellie, you're a muse not a backseat fic writer. 

Xel: I thought thats what muses are for!

*grumbles* Anyway, on with the fic. oooh, whats this? A letter... *reads* why of course. More. Naturally.

Xelloss: I want to leave now. Ja ne, author-san! *trips to the ground* NANI?!  
  
Filia: WHAT IT THIS?! 

Xelloss: *pops up* it appears someone has taped our feet together 

Filia: Who would do such an insanely cruel thin....*Glares at Xelloss* YOU don't fool me namagomi! Why do you have to pull a stunt like this with everyone watching? 

Xelloss: eh? *tugs at tape* it wasn't me! 

Lina: FIREBALL! *toasts the tape* 

*sigh* Right then, Back to answering questinos guys. oh, on the sofa to one side we have Lina, Gourry, Zelgadiss and Amelia. They can but in and argue with Xellie and Filly's comments too. And answer questions. 

Lina: *waves* Ohayouuu!

Zelgadiss: hello...

Amelia: In the name of Justice I will help these two see the light!

Gourry: *looks around* eh? Uhh... Lina? where are we? 

Xelloss: Stop calling me Xellie!

Filia: Stop calling me Filly!

*sweatdrops* Oh man. Things are gonna get hectic. Right, Xel, Fi, the first question I'm going to ask is Pick the Animal you think represents eachother, and explain why you picked it....

Xelloss: Dragon!

and no, you can't say, monster, dragon or that is a secret. heh, the audience have you sussed Xel.

Filia: Well I think Xelloss is like a cockroach. Unwanted, unclean, and hard to get rid of! 

Xelloss: Animal for Filia.... Are you sure I can't say monster? 

yes, sure.

Xelloss: *tries to think of a viscous mace-weilding lizard* She's like um... one of those lizards... a monitor... yeah.

Filia: they're nasty! 

BEFORE you two start fighting again, next question. What would you two do if suddenly there was a peace treaty you both had to honour?

Xelloss: Avoid Filia like Amelia's speeches

Amelia: Xelloss-san, how dare you belittle me on stage like that. That is most unjust! 

SOMEONE SHUT HER UP! 

Amelia: *pouts and sits down* 

Filia: I would avoid Xelloss more than I do now. Next question? 

hehe, okay then, what if your superiors ordered you to be nice to eachother.

Xelloss, Filia: THE SAME AS THE LAST QUESTION! 

Oh, Very very informative you two. Not at all alike are you?   
*Somewhere a sarcasm detector starts bleeping*

Xelloss: Whats that? 

A sarcasm detector n_n

Xelloss: Oh a sarcasm detector? What a WONDERFUL invention! How USEFUL! 

*detector explodes and Xelloss gets a nasty glare from author-san* 

*Ahem* what if you were kidnapped by Rabid fangirls/boys respectively? 

Xelloss: *sweatdrops* Geez, look who's asking that question. Author-san.. you don't fool anyone.

Actually someone else asked it. so answer already!

Filia: Umm... panic?

Xelloss: I'm all for panicking. And warping away. n_n;;

Here's one for you smartasses.... out of ALL the group, Which female would you pick if forced, and Filia same for you, which guy would you pick?

Xelloss: well, firstly you haven't even established whether I would have to choose a partner due to being a mazoku but, on process of Elimination... Martina's right out, Filia.... no. Amelia... She'd make me recite unspeakable things everynight and Well then there's Lina-san. I guess it would have to be Lina-san. 

Lina: Why I'm flattered, really. *runs over and gets Xel in a headlock* You'd only do that to make me in to a mazoku or something! 

Xelloss: no, no..Lina-san... thats not it. You have a wonderful personality... 

Lina: *goes back to the sofa dissatisfied* 

Filia: Not Gourry.... Zelgadiss is too... he's Zelgadiss... perhaps maybe... no. None of them! 

Xelloss: oh, Filia-san you're being forced remember?

Filia: *shudders* Wait, who would we choose for WHAT? who to chase around with mace-sama? Xelloss I think.

you flipping well know what the question meant! 

Filia: Fine... *thinks* Xelloss or Zelgadiss.... Xelloss.... or Xelloss... 0.o

Okay, Xelloss it is, moving on quickly...

Filia: HEY! 

A slight variation on the last question... now it's only Filia and Amelia you have to choose from Xelloss

Xelloss: *pales* Filia.....Amelia could kill me. 

I thought as much. Filia, same thing, only, Xelloss-kun, Gaav or Shabranigdu? 

Filia: ugh, It would have to be Xelloss then. 

*thinks* Filia? Why do you call him Xelloss-kun?

Filia: Trying to belittle him I guess.

Xelloss: *snickers behind hand* 

Filia: What are you laughing at Namagomi?

Xelloss: If you insult someone a lot of the time it's more like a pet nickname, ne? 

Oh stop it you two. Oh la la, this is a good one from Shira. "You've both heard of the phrase Opposites Attract. Author-san has used it several times. Now, you two can't possibly deny that you are opposite, so that must mean that you are naturally drawn to each other, ne?"

And guys, just bear in mind how you two protested you had NOTHING in common earlier.

Xelloss: *horrified look*

Filia: *equally horrified look*

Xelloss: We did talk about this wasn't always the case earlier too. 

Filia: hmph. How should I be expected to get along with him? 

Xelloss: We're not total opposites, she has purple on her trim, like my hair colour!

*coughs* Xel, you have yellow trim, the Opposite (complimentary) colour to purple. 

Filia: Just because we opposites, doesn't mean we're attracted to each other does it?

Lina: You sure looked suitable enough for eachother at the temple on mount coronay.

Zelgadiss: yeah, they deserve eachother.

Amelia: you two should admit it! If you repress your feeling for eachother, you are lying to eachother which is surely unjust, and maybe hurting yourselves as well. Particularly you Xelloss-san. The experience of love would teach you the joys of living a wonderful life.

Xelloss: *looking quite sick* 

*someone in the audience coughs and mutters something that if a Mazoku fell in love, surely it would kill them? The author nods in agreement half heartedly and gets back to the fic*

Filia: Who's side are you on? *glares at the group* 

Yipes I sense yet another fight breaking loose... Um... Yeah, gimme your questions after and they'll be answered after the adverts.   
*Rushes over to Xelloss and sings a song to him*   
All things bright and beautiful,   
All creatures grunt and smell,  
all things wise and wonderful,  
the mazoku get rid of them all....   
Umm.... Xellie........ It'll be alright... ROLL THE AD!!!

* * *

  
Zelas' Fly Thru' - the one and only take out to be seen at!   
Try her own creations, such as the Insane Fish delight! Made from only the finest Deep sea dol.... undersea mammals to start with.  
And the Priest/general combo! only available at Zelas' Fly thru.  
Guy in a suit: we take no responsibilty for any knd of poisoning, injury, mental breakdowns or death resulting from products sold at Zelas' Fly thru'   


* * *

  
A/N: Still having fun with this fic... *checks time* Nearly 1AM!! woah.. Fire me more questions and hopefully the next lot will be up tomoro.. uh... today!   



	8. Part 6 - introducing Sound proof booths....

Disclaimer: *fuzzytackleglomps Xelloss and glares at all the other fangirls out there* Okay, I don't own him, but if you guys have a problem, we can share! ya can have the english and spanish ones, and I'll glomp the Japanese one. Naruhodo? 

Xel: I find this fangirl to be more frightening than the concept of marrying Amelia.... 

Amelia: Author-san, why do you always pick on me? 

Yeesh, Amelia... Um... *points randomly* look a terrible injustice! 

Amelia: *zooms off* 

heheh. Okay remember your visit to mount Coronay and the "temple of Marriage"? 

Lina: *growls* yes... 

Could you all remind us all of the way Xelly and Filly... 

Xelloss: Thats Xelloss-sama to you! 

Tisn't! 

Filia: Could you please stop calling me Filly? 

No. Anyway, remind us how Filly... 

Filia: *bats author-san through the ceiling with mace-sama* 

Xelloss: This fic has no author now! I'll take over. *snaps his fingers and turns Filia into a cute little kitty, complete with giant pink bow* 

Filia: *hiss* 

Xelloss: And now, I shall leave! *Author-san lands on his head* 

Filia: *changes back to normal and laughs* 

Xelloss: Author-saaaan! Don't just go landing on peoples heads like that! 

Oh, quit whining and sit down. *ahem* could the group recount the events at the 'temple'? 

Amelia: *as she sits back down* Mount Coronay.... Isn't that the one that looked like a pile of.... 

Lina: AMELIA! You mean the way they protested about eachother, but were acting the same? 

Amelia: but it really did look like a pile of... 

Gourry: wha? 

Zelgadiss: ... They seemed pretty well suited to eachother. 

Amelia: they sure kicked up a fuss. Almost like kids who are denying that they like eachother 

Xelloss:But I did that because we're completely incompatible.  
Filia: But I did that because we're completely incompatible. 

Amelia: You know, come to think of it... Thats the most riled up I've ever seen Xelloss-san. *looks at Xel* there's no reason to be embarrassed Xelloss-san. People fall in and out of love all the time. It's a natural thing. After all, we're only human. 

Gourry: *applauds Amelia's speech* 

Xelloss: Anou..... 

Amelia: And you've spent FAR more than enough time with humans to be affected by the way we act and feel too! You vanished because you were scared of Filia-san! that's what happens when you have a crush on someone. *powerposes* Well, In the name of justice, I , Amelia..... 

*Mallets Amelia with the mallet of Author-injustice* 

Amelia: *eyes tear up* Author-san! 

Shhhh... you'll get your turn in another fic! Everyone wants to hear what Xellie and *gets an evil glare from Filia*... Filia have to say too. Lets move on to some more questions, ne? Um... DFA? 

Dark fire angel: Ooook! Next question! *Giggles* You know my fic, 'Faith's present'? I've been wondering... what would you two actually do if the other was turned into a young five year old? Think about it Xelly, you'd have fun! And you Fi, think about it to, Xelly would be defensless... would you just leave him to die? ^-^ 

Xelloss: I'm sure I could find something to do.... Like lead her to an eternal fountain of youth, so she'd never grow up to annoy me. 

Filia: Of course I wouldn't leave him to die! What do you think I am? A mazoku? I'd try and raise him in to a decent kind and caring soul. 

Xelloss: Who would I have for a role model then? Not a selfish, viscious mace-weilding dragon? 

Filia: *irritation mark pops up* 

Next question.. "Okay, it's clear to see we're not gonna get anything specific from these two...Unless we ask the right question. What if you two could change what you didn't like about the other (including history)? What would you change, & would you like the other then? " 

Filia: Hmm... His past... His attitude.... His catchphrase.... His goofy smile.... His hair.... His species.... His underwear... Maybe then he'd be okay. No wait, and his name. 

uh huh.... Thank you for that wonderful insight Filia. What about you Xel... And stop pretending to write that essay. I know better. 

Xelloss: *thinks* not a lot really...She's so wonderfully destructive 

Filia: Why you... 

Xelloss: But .... maybe raise the hemline on her skirt a little? 

Filia: *jumps to her feet and storms over* 

Lina: When's the buffet? 

NO MORE DESTROYING THE AREA!!! SIT DOWN! 

Zelgadiss: . . . 

Lina: When's the buffet? 

When we're finished Lina! Jeez! Anyway... I got sound proof cubicals built in the last set of adverts. Did ya notice? That's just great stage management! Anyway, Xellie, you go in the one to the right. Filly...filia, you go in the other one. Before you close the door, remember, that nobody can hear you... 

Xelloss/Filia: *both slam the door shut and begin cussing the author* 

except the audience! 

Filia: *tapping the mike* 

Xelloss: *pulling faces at Filia through the glass* 

Filia: *pulls a curtain across from nowhere* 

Xelloss: *stops pulling faces at the curtain and sits by the mike* 

Okay. Xelloss! We already asked Filia, whilst you were busy...*snickers* But your turn now. What are Filia's good points? Um... or rather, what DO you like about Filia?  
AND before you say a word, that cubical is Armed with 48 hours worth of   
" the worlds longest and sappiest Truth, justice n' love speeches"   
"Praise to living"   
"one hundred and one quotes to raise your spirits"  
and "yet more jokes by the authors brother"  
And IF I, or the audience think you're lying, I shall start to play those randomly. And no "Sore wa himitsu desu" in any language! 

Xelloss: Author-san! 

Come on, answer the question. 

Xelloss: *thinks REAL hard* ... Well... She... um... *trails off* 

Can't hear you Xellie-kun! 

Xelloss: She's fun to get mad? 

Hmm... I know! *claps hands together* You like being the centre of attention, and when you annoy Filia, you certainly become that. 

Xelloss: not to mention she destroys everything around her! n_n 

Wow! He almost gave a decent answer, this is progress! now, Filia, Xelloss already answered this, and he did mention a couple of things. What Do you actually **like** about Xelloss? You can't say nothing, or lie, because if you do, I'll put down the barrier between you two and you'll be stuck with him in there. 

Filia: Author-saaan! I sometimes find him mildly amusing. That is all. 

*grins at the audience* Okay I'm opening the floor to questions. Oh, the Slayers are still here... 

Lina: *Eating* 

Gourry: *Eating* 

Amelia: *Eating* 

Zelgadiss: *Sipping coffee* 

Questions? 

Filia Metallium: Filia! Have you ever tried going on a date with someone else? Or acted like you liked Xelloss? Play a trick on him for once! 

Filia: Sore wa himitsu desu! 

What the.... Filia?!?! 

Filia: *smiles* I've considered that. And other things too. I like those fanfics! 

Filia Metallium: Xelloss, Have you ever tried playing jealous? You could get My, er, Filia's emotions ralled. 

Xelloss: *blink blink* _another_ Metallium? Hmm... *thinks* I like that idea... n_n I'll remember that Filia-Metallium-san. It goes well with something else I'm going to do. 

anyone else? 

Raya: If Filia and Xelloss had to be stuck in a room together for lets say.... one day, and had to be nice to eachother, what would they do? 

Aaaah, you've pre-empted me! Xellie and Filia don't know it yet, but outback *points* I set up a little place for them to stay for a couple of days. Only one bed. Whoops! I sure hope mazoku sleep. Tee hee... lets ask them anyway. What would you two do if stuck in a room together and had to be nice to eachother. 

Filia: Sleep 

Xelloss: work on that essay. 

You both sure are a bundle of fun. Hey, gang, what do you think? 

Lina: they'd destroy the place. 

Zelgadiss: Hopefully Filia would teach Xelloss a lesson 

Amelia: They'd finally start to realise what they mean to eachother and stop hiding their true feelings! *justice pose* 

Gourry: uhh... Lina? Pass me the sauce. 

Umm... okaaaaaaay. Let's um... Roll another ad ^-^ And we'll move on to the next part of the show after *looks around then whispers* I've done some work.... 

* * *

~~~ Deep Sea Dolphin's consultations.~~~  
Random Guy: Yes, Dolphin-sama told me the meaning of life. It is... Fishy  
Guy 2: Dolphin helped me see where I was going wrong. Then I went and bought some fish.  
Guy 3: She said "A Fish a day helps keep your hair on!"  
Guy 4: Fish have enriched my life. Thank you DSD.  
For a limited time only, after a consultation with Deep Sea Dolphin, get free entry into Dolphin's Aquarium. Googles and swimsuits are all you need bring! See Water, Shells, Seaweed and Fishcakes all in a realistic wildlife environment! Deep Sea Dolphin: *wanders on stage* Fiiiiiiiishy!!!!! *walks off glomping a fishcake* 

* * *

Xelloss: None of these ad's feature me do they? 

Um... Sore wa himitsu desu!!! Hah! Anymore questions or points the audience want to raise? 


	9. yay questions!

Disclaimer: That says it all! ^-^  
  
Welcome to part... uh... part... part something. *rubs hands together gleefully as Digi-Riven tapes up the soundproof boothes.  
  
Xelloss: *bang bang* Oi! You can't do this to me, you're a fangirl!   
  
Filia: IYA! I don't want to be stuck in here! *takes out mace-sama and starts attack the box*  
  
** "It's a small world" starts to play. Filla, Xelloss and Author-san writhe in pain, Author-san cuts the music and glares at the Dragon and Mazoku.**  
  
BEHAVE! I'll take the tape off soon. dont worry. *ahem* I'm going to ask you individual questions. Then I'll let you out of there for a while. Firstly Filia, have you ever though of the Kouma Senso from Xelloss' point of view?   
  
Filia: kouma war.... Xelloss' point of view. *bitterly* Why I do believe it was... 'look, dragons! and I got told to destroy them... BOOM! that felt great! lets do it again!'  
  
Um... okay. Xelloss, would you rather have avoided the Dragon Massacre if you had the choice?   
  
Xelloss: choice? What choice?  
  
Answer her Xel.   
  
Xelloss: *shakes head* Why would a mazoku pass that up? Are you suggesting I'd rather have said 'oh, the poor dragons. Let them have a chance' ? oh, really.   
  
No need to be like that Xellie-kun, anyway, here, a scenario for you both to listen to. Remember, the other can't hear you answering and you must give satisfactory answers... or else. No Secrets in any language, or alternatives of the saying. Ready, the scenario is:  
  
Filia, pretend that the Darkstar campaign is over and you have established your own shop somewhere in the world. You haven't seen Xelloss since the adventures - approximately 500 years. One day on a shopping trip you bump into Zelas Metallium and she turns you into a mazoku, her servant to be exact - just like Xelloss, she whisks you away to Wolfpack Island and you have no choice but to do what she says. You bump into Xelloss in the mansion-place where you now live. You have an eternity to work with him. You are not allowed to kill yourself and to only do Zelas' bidding like HIM. How will you react to the whole thing? Is there any chance of mini yous and mini Xellosses running around in the next few millenia? Will you eventually learn to get along with him? You really have no way to insult him now.   
  
Filia: Umm... For one I wouldn't be happy being turned into a mazoku and the only way Zelas would get me doing what she says would be to mess with my head. So who knows? If I had the choice. No way. Anyway, do mazoku reproduce in that fashion? If I turned into a mazoku I wouldn't be able to love either. And L-sama help the world if mazoku have such a stage as childhood!  
  
There's a thought... A brat mazoku. *shudder*   
  
Xelloss, your turn. Same situation. Filia is now a mazoku like you and you have to work with her for eternity. She isn't technically a dragon now and Zelas is fond of her for some reason. You have to spend most of your time with her. How would you react to the whole situation? Would you eventually learn to get along with Filia? Any chances of mini purple-heads and mini blondes running around?   
  
Xelloss: I react how Juu-ou sama wants. If I have to learn to get along, then I'll do it. But Filia-san might be more bearable as a mazoku. Everything depends on Juu-ou sama.  
  
*author-san releases the two and the scarper to their seperate armchairs* Okay, back to the audience... Mmm.. there's one.   
  
Xelloss: I demand a better audience! These ones ask awkward questions. And While you're at it, how about a better author too?   
  
Excuse me a minute *bows to the audience, takes something out of her pocket, then stomps over to Xelloss*   
  
Xelloss: sorry sorry! Author-san! Is that...?  
  
yes...  
  
Xelloss: I'll be good!!!  
  
Good. *pockets hair bleach* now back to the audience. You?   
  
SolarFire2 : Are both of you getting tired of these loaded questions that force you togther? "Would you two get along if you were forced to get along?"   
  
Xelloss: Same answer always isn't it? *sigh* if we were forced, we'd have no choice anyway.  
  
Filia: That doesn't mean we'd be happy about it though. Not at all.  
  
Xelloss: Agreed.  
  
*nod* They agreed on something!? ut oh... Next question is "Is at all possible that when you two say you hate each other, you actually mean it? I'm just curious. Because for all intents and purposes, the more you two proclaim your dislike of each other, the more the fans say, "See! See! You really like each other!"   
  
Xelloss: YES!  
Filia: YES!  
  
0.o of course they'd agree with that. Should have guessed. *shakes head* moving on to a response to a question before, and a fresh one!   
"Underwear? I told him to change that two weeks ago... All right, so we're making progress on Xelloss, but Filia's hard to get. Filia, what about the fact that mazoku feed off of negative emotions? If you really wanted to bug him, wouldn't you be nice to him? I know the point's been brought up several times, but I think you're being considerate to him... "  
  
Xelloss: be quiet about my underwear. A furnished basement is the most comfortable. n_n  
  
Filia: eeeww! *ahem* Mazoku feed off negative emotions, which is why Xelloss tries his damdest to annoy me. But can YOU control your emotions? Thank you *bows*   
  
Xelloss: I can. Zelgadiss does a good job of it too.   
  
Filia: Shut up namagomi.  
  
SolarFire2: This just occurred to me...  
Hey Xelloss. In Try, you're clearly seen at one point holding Gourry up by his leg, having saved him from being blown up. You promptly drop him.So if I follow fan logic, you must love Gourry because you saved him, right? Right?   
  
Xelloss: If I didn't save Gourry then Lina-san wouldn't have been as useful to us. n_n;; besides, it made my appearence there seem so much more dramatic. So, take that fan logic.   
  
*gasp* Xelloss! Leave Fan logic alone! I'm a fan! *waves a Zerosu Flag* That's it, I'll argue that out with you later. Next question! Weeeee!   
  
Dark fire angel: just a little question, what would you two do respectively if you could have the other as a slave for one whole day? ^-^   
  
Xelloss: n_n every terrible thing I can thing of at the time!  
  
Filia: *glare* make Xelloss sing disney song after disney song.  
  
Xelloss: . . . *glare back* make Filia give me a full body massage.  
  
Filia: o.o* I'd make Xelloss... um.... act like a puppy and spend the entire day with Amelia.  
  
Amelia: *depression lines* I'm an insult...  
  
Xelloss: Is that so? Well, I'd make Filia eat MY cooking.  
  
Filia: I'd make Xelloss apologise to everyone he has irritated, annoyed, agravated, offended, upset, hurt, angered, PO'ed, injured, mauled, maimed or killed.  
  
Zelgadiss: You only have him for a day.  
  
Xelloss: I'd make Filia say how awful dragons are and how great Mazoku are.   
  
Filia: I'd make Xelloss call Zelas "Namagomi-sama" to her face.  
  
Xelloss: *stands up and glares at Filia*  
  
Lina: *ticking list on a clipboard* Filia, 36... Xelloss, 54. Xell's still winning.  
  
Gourry: Uhh... Lina?  
  
Lina: Yes Gourry?  
  
Gourry: Whats a 'namagomi-sama'?  
  
Lina: 0.o lord of raw kitchen garbage I think.  
  
Gourry: *brightly* Oh I know! Thats the one that Gigaslave and Ragnablade call on!  
  
Lina: *WHAP*  
  
Stop it guys! two more questions for the time being, THEN you can all go to the buffet, if you behave.  
  
Lina: *stops whapping Gourry*  
  
Raya: Filia, Xelloss, what do you think of those Fi-Val and Lina/Amelia-Xel couplings?   
  
Xelloss: Filia-Val couplings? The age difference is too big n_n;;  
  
Filia: *glares at Xelloss* I for one think Xelloss deserves to suffer at the hands of Amelia.  
  
Amelia: *stands up and points at Fi, little swirl on the end of her finger* Filia-san! you are unjust! speaking about a person as if they are not there in such a manner is compl...  
  
SHUT UP! gah. Filia, what do you think of being paired with Val?  
  
Filia: unless you want to rewrite history and have me get through to poor Valgaav before the darkstar battle *sigh* It's not really very probable is it?   
  
Xelloss: Valgaav would be either dead or a mazoku in that case anyway.   
  
Filia: That funny, coming from the big shot who's ass got kicked by Valgaav.  
  
Xelloss: Oh yeah? Anyway why did you help me that time?  
  
Filia: *stress mark* we had this one before namagomi!   
  
jeez, calm it. Xel, what of Pairings you and Amelia, you and Lina?  
  
Xelloss: At the same time? 0.o  
  
NO! Xel-Ame and Xel-lina fics, dumbass!  
  
Xelloss: there's two of me?  
  
ARRRRRGH! Stop stressing the author! Or I'll pair you with Sherra!   
  
Xelloss: She's dead author-san.   
  
I'm an author, I can do it. Now answer the question!  
  
Xelloss: Well, Lina... I doubt Lina would go for it. *cocks head* Better than Filia though. For a human, Lina's pretty skilled too. You have to admire that. *looks at Amelia* Hmm... Amelia... She'd have to go on some sort of journey of understanding and being considerate to mazoku, I think.   
  
Oh Xelloss..... you're really showing a preference toward Lina in all these questions.  
  
Lina: *blush*  
  
Xelloss: Well look at who I got to choose from, Author-san!  
  
Lina: *irritation mark pops up* HEY!   
  
Xelloss: As much as I like the beautiful and talented sorceress. n_n; She's human.  
  
Lina: *relaxes*  
  
*Considering attempting A Xel/Lina Fic* Hmm.. oh, the last question before the buffet. This is a really good one that got emailed to me.   
  
You guys being heroes and the "good guys" will you, in the name of saving the world from mass destruction from an all evil dark lord, have a child so it would fulfill a prophecy. In other word will you 2 be willing to have a child that will grow up to save the world if your race, world and all that moves and doesn't move can continue to exist. Thank you!  
  
Filia: To save the world? Well... I guess so.  
  
Xelloss: Why would I want to save the world anyway? Hmph!  
  
Not even to save Zelas-sama?   
  
Xelloss: Well um... maybe if... *trails off*  
  
OKAY! I'll take that as a 'yes' Anyway... *points* Lina, the buffet is out ther... Lina? Lina? Guess she's gone, and the crew followed her. OH NO! Xelloss, Filia, you go in here! *pushes them into The Room and locks the door.*  
  
Okay, for the benefit of the audience, and those watching from home, here are the rules:  
  
They are to stay in there until one of the following situations arise.  
  
a/ they start getting too close and comfy for their activities to be shown on a suitable for all level.   
  
b/ extreme illness  
  
c/injury and/or death  
  
d/ war  
  
e/ Fire, flood, volcano, earthquake, hurricane, blizzard or another destructive force of nature knocking down the building.  
  
f/ sympathy from the author.  
  
n_n I didn't tell them that. Anyway, They can still be asked questions through the mike... as can Lina's group. If you want Xelloss or Filia to answer without the other hearing, say so, coz there's a little soundproof ujammaflip, box... thing.   
And now, a word from our sponsors. Roll the ad.   
  
=====================================  
Zelas Metallium is pleased to announce the opening of a specialist breeding centre.  
*picture of a wolf-cub weaving its way across the floor, then collapsing drunkenly next to his brother, who is coughing up smoke rings*  
Bred only from the finest *picture of supervisicious beast* as shown here.   
=====================================  
  
Xelloss: that's my Fluffy!   
  
Fluffy? -_-;; Trust you. Anyway... There'll be more soon! Read (again if necessary), Enjoy, - DON'T overdose, (might harm your sanity) review and question!   
  
*dances off into the sunset - ( even though it's mid-afternoon and the sun is shining brightly. Unusual for the UK!! ) Singing Secret~dareka no meseiji* 


	10. In The Room

Disclaimer: Grrrr... I don't own slayers.... yet.... *evil cackle and glomps Usagi-xelloss* (don't ask ^.~)  
  
Welcome back! Xelloss and filia are in the cohabitation set! one room.... and a bathroom, and a SINGLE bed. it's a bit like a hotel room. there's a small cooking area, no TV... one two seater sofa, a coffee table! (well, in these two's case, its more of a tea table. *shrug*)   
Just as we wait for the Slayers to get back from the buffet, which won't be long due to limited budget, here's another advert!  
======================  
Claire bible's herbal essences shampoos and conditioners.  
have the shinest hair for miles around!   
as seen on TV, modelled by Xelloss Metallium, who bought out the company and now runs it in his spare time. Also! Herbal Essences Pet Shampoo! have the Shinest Wolves in the land!  
======================  
Okay, the slayers are sitting. and eating. and eating. and eating... damn... stuck on repeat.   
*looks around the audience* Xelloss has a blonde streak in his hair... and Filia a violet one... Hmm... I think we have a snooper somewhere on set. oh well.   
  
Xelloss: I don't want to stay in here! I have two full time jobs to do.   
  
Filia: yeah, he has two full time jobs to slack off from!  
  
Xelloss: I don't SLACK! I work very very hard!   
  
Filia: Well, you're never working when I see you  
  
Xelloss: Oh, I bug you by choice?  
  
Filia: YES!   
  
Xelloss: ooooooh. You flatter yourself.  
  
Filia: and I FLATTEN you.   
  
Xelloss: Authoooooooooor-saaaaaaan!  
  
Filia: *reaches for mace - but it isn't there* NAMAGOMI! give it back!  
  
Xelloss: I haven... *Filia hits him on the head with the Tea table* Itai X_x  
  
OI! Filia let Xel recover. Step in the sound proof box please? *Clicks fingers and teleports Digi-riven back to the author world quickly*   
  
Filia did you ever think about the mazoku hierarchy?  
If you do you know that a mazoku can't disobey their creators, right?   
So if you know that what do you think about having no free will against what someone tells you?   
You had a choice to disobey your elder.   
  
Filia: That just proves that mazoku are only doing what they are told. And that means that Xelloss can't have any feelings for me. Enough said. point proven and case closed. End of story. No more to say on the subject. Disscussion is ov...  
  
Xelloss: *opens the sound proof box* you broke the tea table!  
  
Filia: no, you broke the tea table with your head!  
  
AAAAHHH! Oi! you two, answer this!   
What would happen if Filia became Zelas for a day, or Xellos became the Fire Dragon King for a day? *gets no response from their bickering*   
*AHEM* Is it just me, or do those two not want to fall in love because they are Gay/Lesbian?  
  
Xelloss: *freeze*  
  
Filia: *freeze*  
  
Answer?  
  
Xelloss: sore wa himitsu desu  
  
Filia: certainly not! *bashes Xelloss*  
  
Right What would happen if Filia became Zelas for a day?   
  
Xelloss: I'd go find the real one. ugh.  
  
Filia: I'd immediately give up smoking, gambling, alcohol and any recent drugs  
  
Kids, pay attention to filia's shining example. Don't do any of those things that Zelas is well known for. thank you.  
  
And if Xelloss became the fire dragon king?   
  
Filia: he couldn't! he wouldn't! I'd run away!   
  
Xelloss: me too. n_n  
  
0.o you'll like this one.... "Can I ask Xel something personal that has nothing to do with Filia? Boxers or Briefs? ^^;; dont ask, the question came up at school ^.^"  
  
Xelloss: Nope! n_n next question!  
  
Filia: *scurries to the other side of the room*  
  
By the way guys, have you two actually considered how childish you look when you fight? ^-^ It's cute, like when little kids pick on the one they like! So, what would you each do if you would happen to end up being reborn as humans? Would you actually consider being friends at least?  
  
Filia: *indignantly* I did not look childish, most of it's Xelloss  
  
Xelloss: *stops sticking his tongue out at Filia* I wouldn't be friends with her. no  
  
Aww... Why not?  
  
Xelloss: she'd beat me up!  
  
Filia: I wouldn't want to be friends with a retarded human brat that you'd be.  
  
Xelloss: oooooh! It's not my fault you have a prudish and boring sense of humour, if any.  
  
Filia: Hmph! I act grown up!  
  
*snickers* Don't they get along great folks? here's a question for the cre. CREW! Stop eating!  
What do you guys think of the Xel/Fil situation? Do they love or hate eachother?  
  
Lina: thmsh smuitherd to eachsmother. *gobble*  
  
Gourry: Mfpphf?  
  
Zelgadiss: hate. *sips coffee*  
  
Amelia: They really like eachother and should show their true feelings! *eats ravenously*  
  
*sigh* the end of another night. How will Xelloss and Filia get along in their new room?How much longer can I make this fic? What else do you want to ask? Send questions in! More after the advert.   
-------------------------------  
LoN Brand Shovels.  
unbreakable! Unstoppable! Forged in the power of chaos! Get your very own Giga-shovel today, or it's safer counterpart, the Ragna shovel! Only, LoN brand will do!  
--------------------------------  
  
(ps... do review too!!!) 


	11. Puddles of Mazzie

Disclaimer: I do not own slayers. Or Rubix cubes (I lie, I have one, and I complete it like a mazoku... you'll see)   
  
  
As you can see, Xelloss and Filia are stuck together in the cohabitation suite and are..0.o are... are...  
  
drinking tea together like civilised creatures?!?! What's more is I stocked the room with 'Author brand Truth Tea' (gomen Riven - I couldn't have them getting high on the dragon/mazoku equivilent of Catnip....yet)   
  
Xelloss: *sigh* Well, that author... she's just crazy.   
  
Filia: *shakes head* I can't believe she actually done this to us.  
  
Xelloss: And I can't believe we're talking like like this, but I'm whacked after avoiding mace-sama like that.  
  
Filia: Me too...Argh! PUN!   
  
Xelloss: *rubs bandaid on head* so? Anyway, I think I know how to get out of here.  
  
Filia: Oh?   
  
Xelloss: *nod* Well, she wants to determine whether or not we hate or like eachother... and I know what result she wants  
  
Filia: I see.... so whats your idea?  
  
Xelloss: *smirk* Sore wa hi....  
  
Filia: You want out of here or not?!  
  
Xelloss: Okay, okay! *runs over and glomps Filia* See, author-san?! See?!  
  
Filia: *twitch* Must resist... urge... to.... kill....   
  
Xelloss: Oh, not good enough? Well how about th...  
  
Filia: IYA! *Baseball bats Xel into the opposite wall*   
  
Xelloss: Itai... I guess author-san wasn't listening.....  
  
Filia: *Demon head* YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE NAMAGOMI!!!!  
  
Xelloss: n_n Here's a point I'd like to raise. Why do fanfiction authors insist on you repeatedly calling me namagomi, when you said that once? And, repeated mace-ings? I'm sure during the darkstar adventure you didn't get me with it... Or even try. Severe chasings in dragon form, however are different...  
  
Filia: You have a point. More tea?  
  
Xelloss: I'll pass thanks.   
  
*Xelloss and Filia sit in silence, Filia drinks tea, Xelloss plays with a Rubix Cube - eventually he completes it by peeling off all the coloured stickers and replacing them in the right place.*  
  
Filia: Can I try that Xelloss?  
  
Xelloss: Yeah.. just let me mess it up. *replaces stickers in wrong amounts*  
  
Filia: *tackles the puzzle*  
  
Xelloss: In the spirit of things going on, Filia, want to play 20 questions?  
  
Filia: *Irritaion mark pops up and she maces the rubix cube* sure.  
  
Xelloss: Question one..... Why do you hate me?  
  
Filia: Let me go first, so I can answer my questions with the same degree of straight answer that you do for yours.  
  
Xelloss: okay! n_n;;  
  
Filia: What justifications/ plausible reasons are there for X/F fiction? As you see it?  
  
Xelloss: Umm.... to annoy you. Because Juu-ou said so.... Oh, how about this one! To pick you up, make you fall in love then break your heart and have a good laugh. *thinks* To get the Val egg.... To make little Mazoku-dragon hybrids, author being able to justify how that happens, of course. To satisfy my own curiosity about what you think... Hmm.... ah! Being addicted to your negativity... I suppose you could call that a mazoku version of love. Lots. Thats quite unfortunate really, isn't it?  
  
Filia: Isn't it just? When are we going to be let out of this place?!  
  
Xelloss: I'll try again.... *tackleglomps Filia*  
  
Filia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET OFFFFF!!!!!  
  
Xelloss: hush up or it won't work.  
  
Filia: you do like me don't you? *shudders*  
  
Xelloss: *pushes himself off Filia* Filia-san! I'm a mazoku, remember?! I just want out. *under breath* And you really really annoyed....  
  
Filia: Pardon? I didn't catch that last bit.  
  
Xelloss: oh, uh... nothing.  
  
HEY GUYS!!!!  
  
Xelloss: *jumps about 10 foot in the air*   
  
Filia: Hey author-san.  
  
Xelloss: *glares at loudspeaker right next to him*  
  
*snicker* Question time guys.   
  
Xelloss: CAN YOU TURN THE SPEAKER DOWN PLEASE?  
  
nope. just move away from it. First one... would you two consider the fact of respecting one another? I mean, Fi is one of the few Dragons I've seen to actually HIT Xel. And Xel, Fi is the only person apart from Lina you allow to get hit by!   
  
Xelloss: we already share a mutual understanding.... and respect eachother's dislike of the other. okay?  
  
Filia: *blink blink* I don't like him... why would I respect any murderous mazoku?  
  
Xelloss: You respected your chief elder... and he was worse than me.  
  
Filia: HOW SO?  
  
Xelloss: I was following orders to destroy... not giving them  
  
Filia: But still...   
  
Xelloss: Author-san! She's unreasonable!  
  
Quit it. You whine faaaaaaaar to much. Next questions.  
  
Digi-Riven: Xelloss, if your staff is actually a part of you can you sense things (see, hear, feel, etc) through it?  
  
Xelloss: author-san put that idea in your head didn't she?   
  
Filia: How can you sense thnigs through a bit of wood?  
  
Xelloss: Maybe its made of mazoku. Sore wa himitsu desu anyway.   
  
*shrug* What can I do? Okay, more .... Filia how does your tail pop out so fast? Do you have it curled up in your skirt next to your mace?   
  
Filia: Sore wa himitsu desu!  
  
Xelloss: *Smashes Filia with his staff, the same way Filia smashes with Mace-sama*   
  
Filia: *rubs her head* Itai... um... well... I don't really think about how it pops out, and as for my underskirt arrangement...  
  
Xelloss: *Looks at Filia's "underskirt arrangement"*  
  
Filia: IIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Pervert! Stay out of there! *smashes Xelloss into a satisfactory little puddle*  
  
n_n whilst Xelloss literally pulls himself together, I been given one here for Filia that has nothing to do with Xelloss, "in reponse to the "boxers/briefs" question. So Filia, Granny-panties or thongs? or nothing at all? I can't imagine that underwear would be possible what with your dragon tail popping out all the time...hmm...okay.... here it is formulated better: How can you wear underwear when your tail keps popping out and if you manage a way around it, what kind of underwear do you wear?"  
  
Filia: TAILS DONT POP OUT OF YOUR BUTT! They're just above!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Alright Alright... don't yell.  
  
Xelloss: *pops up* DON'T YELL! Author-san is bad enough!   
  
*ahem* moving on... Xelloss what would you do if Filia stole your staff?   
  
Xelloss: Steal her bow.  
  
Filia what happens if he stole the bow on your tail?  
  
Filia: I'll mace him and steal his staff.  
  
Xelloss: Filia.... *glomp*   
  
Filia: *tail pops out, bares fangs*  
  
Xelloss: *Steals the bow*  
  
Filia: *Maces Xel and takes her bow back* Once more namagomi... just once more....  
  
Xelloss: Once more? n_n;; okay! *glomp*   
  
Filia: *once again bashes Xel into a pulp*   
  
*AHEM!!!!* "Filia, most people CAN control their emotions. People like to bug me all the time, but I just go on like nothing happened. Even insults about being a dragon can be ignored. Why do you let it get to you?"  
  
Filia: I don't know. HE JUST DOES! Augh! *stamps on the Xelloss-puddle* There's only so much a dragon can take. You know, I can sense a mazoku's presence. So much as one walking past can bring a dragon priestess like me up in goosebumps. Maybe thats why.  
  
Xelloss: *as a puddle* boo?  
  
Filia: shut up.   
  
*sigh* I guess we should let them have some quiet time. *cheesy grin* now, a question for Zelgadiss!   
  
Zelgadiss: . . .   
  
"Hey Zelgadiss! You're always getting put with Amelia, and to a lesser extend, Lina. And to a much lesser extent, Xelloss. How do you feel about being paired with other people, like Filia, or dare I say ..Sylphiel? Just curious, oh-master of the straight-answer."  
  
Zelgadiss: It seems to me that anything would be a welcome change to the Xelloss pairings. Which, might I add, I sympathise with Filia, I don't see what she did to deserve that. *sips coffee*   
  
Xelloss: I hear you Zelly-darling.  
  
Zelgadiss: *elegantly spits coffee all over the floor and goes bright red* The very moment you step out of that room, you're going to...  
  
Xelloss: Be glomped? n_n;; Why my Zelgabunny, Filia might get jealous!   
  
Zelgadiss: !!! I WAS going to say meet a RAH TILT and your DOOM!  
  
Xelloss: You couldn't bring you...  
  
Filia: What was that about jealousy?! *Pulps Xelloss again*   
  
Xelloss: but but but... ( good song, ne?)  
  
Zelgadiss: Then again, me and Filia do have one thing in common. Fanfic writers will be fanfic writers and pair their favourite characters, whether we like it or not.  
  
*nod* Looks like Xellie and Filly are stuck together still ^^;; usual deal, fire questions, and I'll make 'em answer! Um... hands up X/F supporters?   
  
Xelloss: Help us! we need points to raise that are Anti-X/F fiction! somebody!!  
  
*grin* Advert time...  
_________________________  
Phibrizzo's Fried chicken.....  
  
Crispy, black, blasted to ashes in perfection....  
  
It's Finger Clickin' good!  
_________________________  
  
*hopeful look* don't forget to review.... n_n;; ,\,,, 


	12. image songs and Tea

Discalimer: No ownership what so ever.  
  
Xelloss: In response to all the Anti-F/X comments, I'd like to say, Thank you, Thank you! Just what I was looking for.  
  
Filia: yeah, do you people see now?  
  
Both: I'm not meant to be with him/her!  
  
Xelloss: I said that first. We're nothing alike.  
  
Filia: Hey! I said it, you copied me!  
  
0.o While they settle they're lovers quarrel. *ducks all sorts of debris* Question here to everyone:   
Who WOULD you like to be paired with if you had to be with Anyone of the group? And be honest Filia, we all know how much you like being glomped by Xelloss-sama.   
  
Filia: *pops head out of dustcloud* XELLOSS-SAMA?!?!?!!?!  
  
Xelloss: You called?   
  
Filia: *tail pops out also and she chases Xelloss around and around the room with his own staff*   
  
Lina: Mphhrrhy... *gobble*   
  
Gourry: Pass the salt  
  
Zelgadiss: sore wa himitsu desu? *shrug* hey, it works for Xelloss.   
  
Amelia: Asking such a question in public is very unjust! How coul.... * vat of custard upends itself over Ameria* (0.o)   
  
Lina: Where'd that come from?  
  
Zelgadiss: looks like Author-san went hyper again.  
  
Lina: Looks like this is going to be a fun episode.   
  
Stop talking about me like that you people! *eyes Xel now chasing filia with mace-sama* XELLOSS! QUESTION FOR YOU!   
  
You know your TRY image song? But but but? And your NEXT image song? Who dedicated to?   
  
Xelloss: I know where this one's going! Secret isn't dedicated to her *points at filia* Because It's from before then n_n. The other one? Sore wa...  
  
Oi..... Secret is dedicated to martina! *dances around*  
  
Xelloss: It is not! Does a song have to be dedicated?   
  
Is that one?  
  
Xelloss: Sore wa....   
  
Okay okay... So secret is NOT Filia... who is it then? Hmm? Hmm?  
  
Xelloss: thats why it's called Secret, stupid author.  
  
Can't argue with that. What about But but but? Sounds like Lina to me.  
  
Lina: *Glances up*  
  
Xelloss: Lina... She is truely wonderful in her own way, but isn't the point of a song like that so that people don't know?  
  
Filia: NAMAGOMI! Why can't you just answer the questions?! *Starts bashing Xel*  
  
HEY! Quit fighting and answer some questions! One for both of ya; You each have the power to put the other into any sittuation you like... which would it be?  
  
Xelloss: any....  
  
Filia: Situation.....  
  
Xelloss: I choose? *thought bubble of all sorts of embarrasing for Filia scenes appear*  
  
Filia: I'd put Xelloss in a situation of love and joy and happiness!   
  
Xelloss: *Brushes the thought bubble away* Thats mean and spiteful of you filia-san!   
  
Filia: I saw that thoughtbubble! *bares fangs* IS THAT MY BOW TIED TO YOUR STAFF?!?!?!  
  
Xelloss: *sweatdrops and looks* Looks like it.... An author must of put it there.   
  
Oi, questions... Filia... what would you do if you ever saw Xelloss apparently 6-7 years old and if he acted  
innocently like a child?  
  
Filia: The hell he would!   
  
Xelloss: What kind of twisted author would do such a thing anyway?!  
  
Filia: It's not as if I'd babysit him or anything!   
  
Stop dissing twisted authors, they rock!   
  
All: *grumble*  
  
Xelloss, what would you do if you were in that situation but not remember a thing? What would your reaction be? Humiliated? Worried? Something else?  
  
Xelloss: Something else. Next question!   
  
*blinks* Unfortuantely folks, that counts as an acceptable answer, because it was given as an option  
  
  
Alright.. Xelloss. Do you often feel that you're portrayed a little bit too.. Hmm.. Too much of a good guy? It seems very rare that in fanfiction, you have play the part of a villain. I mean.. You're a mazoku, right? A bad bad guy? It seems like I cant read a story without seeing, "Xelloss' soft sensitive side, hidden behind a reluctant duty towards his Master!" Thoughts?  
  
And for the sake of curiosity: Filia, is it a matter of pride that when going about in human guise, you pick a form so.. Attractive? Or is it just natural beauty that carries over to both forms?  
  
Xelloss: I agree with you. Too much softeness, not enough badness. But, you expect all the fans to do such things. They want to see the best and hidden qualities, that maybe don't exist, but possibl...stop glaring at me Filia! I'm trying to respond!   
  
Filia: *pushes Xelloss aside* As for my part of the question... it's a secret ^.~  
  
Xelloss: Auuuuuthor-saaaan! She did it again!   
  
*checking reviews the bursts out laughing*  
  
100 reasons you two shouldn't be paired. Now.  
  
Xelloss: reasons 1 through 100. HER!   
  
Filia: reason 1, Xelloss, reason 2, Xelloss, reason 3, Xelloss, see a paturn yet?  
  
okay, lets do this another way. 25 reasons each why you shouldn't be paired.  
  
Xelloss:  
1: Shes a dragon  
2: we do not get along  
3:umm.... She's filia  
4: I'm a mazoku  
5: ahh..... uh...... She's filia  
6: She's filia  
  
Filia:   
1: hes the worst mazoku ever  
2: I want a decent partner  
3: I wouldn't have a mazoku look after my kids  
4: he probably leaves the toilet seat up!  
  
Xelloss: How would know that?   
  
Filia: do you know how to use a toilet?  
  
Xelloss: yup. Hold victim by feet, dunk head, flush!   
  
Filia: *rolls eyes* I should have known.   
  
Xelloss: Hey, Filia, shall I demonstrate?  
  
Filia: NO! Author-san, when are you going to let us out?!   
  
*whistles* dunno... next question...   
  
To Xelloss, If you died and left a will, what would you give to Filia?  
To Filia, Same thing, but what would you give to Xelloss?   
  
Both: *yell causing a small gale* NOTHING!  
  
*pulls herself off the wall and brushes hair* olay okay. Calm down! Um, general question for the other.   
  
"Earlier, the thing about the pairing at the mountain well, That's justifiable, though Lina was paired with Zelgadis, and Gourry with Amelia...I was wondering what everyone thought of that. O.O"  
  
Lina: Mhdugrhe? *gulp* That dirty little Jillas Tricked us! How dare he?!   
  
Zelagdiss: I don't think that was the point of the question  
  
Gourry: What?  
  
Amelia: Miss Lina obviously should have been with Gourry, but at that time Xelloss and Filia acted really immature.... *Carries on wiping custard off*  
  
"And....hmmm...Welll, does Filia realize that when she gets so angry about someone even mentioning the thought of her and Xelloss feeling something for each other, she seems to be in denial when she does that. Y'know adds fuel to the fire and such. Isn't helping her cause much..."  
  
Filia: HOW does that add fuel to the fire? I find it offensive! *xelloss shies away from the angry dragon, author-san looks mildy surprised* I don't like it! This isn't denial this is I don't want it!   
  
One more question for now... " earlier when you mentioned that opposites attract and the other couples (L/G and A/Z) were mentioned and okayed by Fi and Xel because of certain similiarities, I wanted to point out that they both like tea. Does that mean that they are okayed by themselves? "  
  
Xelloss: I like a different brand of tea!  
  
Filia: yes! I like a nice sweet mellow brand  
  
Xelloss: I like the smooth relaxing brand. So there.  
  
Filia: so, anyway lots of people like tea, and I'm sure we don't like the same type. its like saying that everyone who wears blue has something in common if you're going to say that!   
  
okay.... Advert!  
__________________________________________  
  
Seyruune Tea:  
  
Made from the finest tealeaves, Seyruune tea is a nice sweet mellow brand, that is smooth and relaxing. A pleasure to drink!   
  
__________________________________________  
  
Wai!!!! Answered more! any more questions?! send 'em over!! *runs of hyperly singing But but but* 


	13. a long chapter!!

Welcome to yet another edition... episode...chapter..uh... hello? Is this thing working? *taps mike* I don't think it is so now's a good time to remind everyone that I don't own Slayers. Hehehe....   
  
Xelloss: And thats a good thing for us! Or we'd have to put up with this kind of thing everyday!   
  
*Whaps Xelloss on the head with a frying pan* Get back in that room now! I want to get on with the fic! And plug the mike in!   
  
Xelloss: *does so*   
  
*ahem* Hi! Welcome back! Xelloss and Filia are still in The Room. I've given them a jigsaw puzzle to work together on, and if who ever finishes it gets let out. So if Filia finishes it, she can come out. If Xelloss finishes it, he can come out, if they work together, they can both come out.  
  
Xelloss: If you start from the corners its easiest.  
  
Filia: No!   
  
Xelloss: No?   
  
Filia: You have to make up the middle first!  
  
Xelloss: That is so wrong.   
  
Filia: *Snatches all the pieces* Like this...  
  
Xelloss: Yare yare...   
  
You know something, The way they act, they remind me of my parents! So whilst they fight over that I got some questions for the Slayers crew to answer!   
  
Lina, how do you feel about X/L pairings?  
  
Lina: Look, Xelloss is a mazoku. If I want to be used as a convience all my life then I'd pair up with him. Still you can't blame the authors, after all who can resist someone as beautiful and as talented as me?   
  
Gourry: Not to mention flat...  
  
Lina: FIREBALL!   
  
Gourry: oooww.....   
  
Zelgadiss, how do you feel about Z/F parings?  
  
Zelgadiss: . . .   
  
*ahem* Zelgadiss, how do you feel about Z/F parings?  
  
Zelgadiss: *sips coffee* They're better than X/Z pairings thats for sure.  
  
Aww... Zelly-chan!   
  
Zelgadiss: This whole thing is ridiculous  
  
ZELLY!!!!   
  
Xelloss: What? I'm trying to do this jigsaw! *pushes Filia's nicely made jigsaw centre so it breaks up.* See! I nearly got thiss corner done!   
  
Filia: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!   
  
Wrong Zelly. Ummm.... moving on, Amelia, what is your view on mazoku?  
  
Amelia: The mazoku are unjust and evil and need to be shown the errors of their ways. All mazoku should learn to love and appreciate life and justice and hope! And I...  
  
*sigh* Just your opinion, not what you want to do about it. Ohhh, here's one for Gourry!  
Gourry, can I have your weapon of light? Please?  
  
Gourry: *clutches sword* No! It's a family treasure!   
  
Lina: If you want my Sword of Light, then you'll have to pay me a good price  
  
Gourry: But it's mine!   
  
Lina: You said I could have it, remember?   
  
Gourry: No I didn't! Anyway, you said you were going to treat me to dinner.  
  
Lina: I'll treat you to dinner right now. *Throws some of the buffet at Gourry*  
  
*In the chaos our brave Author-san takes time out to read all about morning glories. And duck flying food. Eventually Gourry and Lina realise the food is no longer edible and sulk*  
  
On the subject of food, could I please remind everyone there's to be no alcohol consumption on the premises. No smoking for the comfort of those around you, and absolutely no pets, due to my severe allergy problem. That includes you at the back madam. Can I also ask your group to make sure you keep that child well supervised? thank you.   
  
Right, lets answer some more questions!   
  
"Hello, I was just wondering...since Jiras said that the pairing were the WORST ones, wouldn't that mean the X/F is the worst one? But never fear! The true love between Xelloss and Filia shall never be extinguished! The gods of Justice shall make sure of it!"  
  
Xelloss: *sweatdrops* Did Amelia get her twin to send that one in?  
  
Filia: Give me back those pieces!  
  
Xelloss: Not until we've made the corners first!   
  
Lina: Hmm... maybe Jiras was just relying on the fact they conflicted so badly whilst trying to deny their true feeling for eachother.  
  
Filia: WHAT?!  
  
Xelloss: WHAT?!  
  
Amelia: I have to agree with Miss Lina  
  
Xelloss: feel free to argue with her  
  
Zelgadiss: Would you argue with Lina?   
  
Gourry: Why argue? If Filia and Xelloss learn to get along then everybody will be happier!   
  
Filia: Except me!   
  
Xelloss: And me!   
  
Before this gets any worse, lets move on! " For whomever cares to answer:  
I can't help but think that the whole 'Opposites Attract' thing just doesn't work in the practical sense. Are the brilliant attracted to the idiotic? Certainly not. The attractive attracted to the hideous? No.. The sane attracted to the insane? Hu-uh. Thoughts?"  
  
Filia: We've tried to say that!   
  
Xelloss: So are you saying that Lina and Gourry really do have a lot in common? I said that earlier!   
  
Filia: I'm going to agree with that statement, it doesn't always work!   
  
Xelloss: So I'm the attractive one, and you're the hideous one, right?   
  
Filia: Wrong way round!   
  
Xelloss: Thats not very nice Filia-san. n_n Being nasty should be the mazoku role.  
  
Filia: It's perfectly acceptable for a dragon to be mean to a mazoku  
  
Xelloss: Then you're just as bad as we are.  
  
Filia: auuuuuuuuuugh! *flings jigsaw across the room*  
  
Oh here we go again... what about you crew?   
  
Amelia: Anyone can overcome anything for true love!   
  
Lina: They're alike. Look at the way the argue all the time to prove that they're dissimiliar. The way they react to a lot of these questions.   
  
Zelgadiss: They're both equally stubborn.  
  
Gourry: Whats a stubborn?  
  
What next hmm... "Since it keeps coming up: I see a lot of people babbling about how that whole 'pairing up' thing went in Try, and yet I don't recall reading any works with Gourry and Amelia together.. Is it a double-standard?  
Is 'because they look cute together' justification for -anything- or is it just grabbing at straws?"  
  
*grin* I've read a couple of Gourry/Amelia works!   
  
Amelia: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! But surely Mr Gourry belongs with Miss Lina?   
  
Lina: What was that Amelia?   
  
Amelia: I was just saying that you and Mr...  
  
Lina: Fireball!   
  
Amelia: *blink blink cough*  
  
Gourry: I don't get it.  
  
Zelgadiss: ... There's a surprise  
  
Grrr.... Please don't get too violent, I want this to stay suitable for all! Filia! Xelloss! The rest of the question... "Though I think you two don't care for each other, I don't think either of you actively hope for the demise of the other.After all, you're both fairly mature, despite how one might act to prove otherwise... So. Armed with that knowledge, what would either of you say about the other at their funeral, assuming you were there with the rest of the group for the service?"  
  
Xelloss: Filia, you are the weakes....  
  
Xellie! No cheesy quiz show ripoffs. Imagine you're at the funeral and have to say something about Filia, what would you say?   
  
Xelloss: We had our conflicts, but got the job done. Lina do you have to eat so much? This is a funeral not a party.  
  
Zelgadiss: Trust a mazoku comedian to come up with something like that.  
  
Filia: Well, I don't know... Do mazoku even have funerals?  
  
Lina: No, because they vanish  
  
Zelgadiss: Some mazoku around here are in desperate need of vanishing.  
  
Amelia: Mr Zelgadiss, that's not very nice. Such a subject might hurt Mr Xelloss' feelings!   
  
Zelgadiss: I'd like to see that happen.  
  
Xelloss: Filia, why did you tie your bow on my staff?  
  
Filia: You stole it! How dare you blame me!? *tail pops out, complete with violet bow*   
  
Xelloss: Thats a nice bow Filia-san *points*  
  
Filia: You went and tied that on my tail?! HENTAI!!!!   
  
Oh! A question just for me! "Zee, are you annoyed at all by the mysterious prowler pulling pranks?"   
  
Well, not at all, mysterious-prowler-san! n_n;; I'm equally amused. Knock it off already you two!  
  
Xelloss, Filia, are you both annoyed by all the strange mysterious happenings?   
  
Xelloss: Well, thats your fault Author-san! everything is.  
  
I'm not a crazy author *More custard falls on Amelia and some wolves start howling at the back of the audience*   
  
YEESH! I SAID NO PETS! Lets have a quick fire round! Xelloss, you have been specifically forbidden from saying "Sore wa himitsu Desu" Or you'll be blasted into the next dimension.... or worse if I think of something. So...  
  
Xelloss, what would you do if you were stuck with Fi in a room and you couldn't get out?  
  
Xelloss: I already am!!   
  
Next, Filia, what would you do if Xelloss became a dragon?  
  
Filia: Panic?   
  
alright... Xelloss, what would you do if Filia turned into a mazoku?  
  
Xelloss: Eso es un secreto! ^.~  
  
0.o that worries me somewhat... Filia, would you marry Xelloss if he was the last man on Earth?  
  
Filia: I wouldn't marry him if he was the last dragon on the planet either!   
  
Last one... Xelloss, would you marry Filia if she was the last woman on Earth?   
  
Xelloss: There wouldn't be anyone to perform the marriage, or be witness, so it wouldn't be legal anyway, so even IF I wanted to it wouldn't be possible.  
  
*grumbles* Smart alec. Does Xellie annoy anyone else apart from me and Filia? *sigh* How's that jigsaw?  
  
Xelloss: In many pieces!   
  
Filia: Let me do the middle!   
  
Don't worry for the moment, do it in a minute, got some questions for the two of you.   
  
"would you two sing together in a karaoke if the prize were to be something you each want a lot? What would you like the prize to be?"  
  
Filia: yes!  
  
Xelloss: Of course.   
  
what prizes would you want?  
  
Filia: To get out of this room!  
  
Xelloss: To get out of this room!  
  
Don't you think you act a bit childish towards each other.(deny this and I'll lock you in a freezer together a smmmaaaalll freezer so you'll have to cuddle together to keep warm I'm ready to do that.)Have you ever just sat down and get to know each other. Like, not even to be a couple but just maybe well.....something like 'friends'?   
  
Xelloss: I can be childish if I want  
  
Filia: I'm not as childish as Xelloss!   
  
Xelloss: *Sticks tongue out* Naaaah  
  
Filia: *shakes head* I think after the dark star battle we can get along to be civil.... friendship may not come.  
  
Xelloss: Filia's far too much of a high and mighty golden dragon to be friends with a mazoku.   
  
Filia: Why you....! *smashes jigsaw over Xelloss head*  
  
Xelloss: stupid dragon! We have to finish that to get out of here, now all the pieces are everywhere! *starts gathering pieces*  
  
Oooh, another question...  
"I wonder... Xelloss and Filia worked together to beat Dark Star, so I wonder if they could work together without the salvation of the world hanging in the balance."   
  
Looks unlikely....   
  
Anymore for anymore? I said no smoking is the audience! *loud sigh is heard and grumbles* bring more questions, everyone can answer! Okay, almost everyone. If Amelia answers many questions I might well die. 


	14. of jigsaws and tea

Hihihi! So glad you're all still here! You know, for a one chapter fic... this is getting um.... yeah, anyway! Xellie and Filia still have the jigsaw to complete ^-^ I don't own Slayers, still, I dream I do!   
  
So, I'm gonna dive straight in this time with questions!   
  
"Zelgadiss, no pointing fingers. You and Lina are just as stubborn as either of them. You, however, are slightly more succeptible to bend if you're dealing with the opposite sex."  
  
Zelgadiss: Isn't that the same as saying I'm less stuborn?   
  
As for you, Lina... I can go on and about how similar you and Zelgadiss are. I'm sure I can find some L/Z fans to agree with me. So don't start.  
  
Gourry.. Assuming this interview is going on post-try.. which it obviously is.. Haven't you already lost the Sword of Light?  
  
Gourry: *blinks and draws his sword* Ooooh yeah! This is a normal sword!   
  
Lina: Well, duh. But if they ever bring the sword back, it's mine!   
  
Zelgadiss: *sigh* I can't believe you two forgot that.  
  
Xelloss: Thats because Author-san fell in a plot hole!   
  
Shut up Xelloss. Damarei baka! Anata wa namagomi desu!  
  
*blinks* question about "Scattering Japanese Words/Phrases around in works of fanfiction. Immersive or irritating?"  
  
Filia: I like it. Namgomi! namagomi! namagomi!  
  
Xelloss: I like it too! It allows authors to write in words that would otherwise change the rating of the fiction. Why do you do it author-san?  
  
me? Coz I watch Slayers in Japanese, not English.   
  
Lina: that because YOU can't stand Xellos' voice in the english one!   
  
Is not! It's cause I don't live in America! So there!   
  
Xelloss: do I REALLY sound like that?   
  
Filia: *smirks* yes.  
  
Xelloss: Anou... you sound like a selfish dragon!   
  
Amelia: I think it's wrong when fanfiction authors use strings of japanese in an English fic without explaining what they mean! And even then, it's annoying to have to remember more than one word to look up in the glossary they should put at the end of the fic!   
  
Lina: But most fanfic readers know what a 'Namagomi' is  
  
Xelloss: yeah, they think it's japanese for 'super cute mazoku!'   
  
Zelgadiss: More like 'Annoying little turd'  
  
Filia: I'm sure he's far worse than that.   
  
Zelgadiss: alright... he's a whiney, annoying, irritating not to be trusted mazoku  
  
Filia: wrong! Worse! He's a... He's a... Xelloss!  
  
Xelloss: n_n;; why, thank you!   
  
Zelgadiss: I don't see your problem Filia, he didn't annoy you as much as me  
  
Filia: No! He annoyed me more!  
  
Zelgadiss: I think you'll find it was me.   
  
Filia: me!  
  
Xelloss: Yare yare... *works on the jigsaw*  
  
Filia! Zelgadiss! You can bicker about who like Xelloss most later!   
  
Filia: He does!  
  
Zelgadiss: She does!   
  
Answer this everyone.... "Reviewers who write things along the lines of, "OMG! Make this fic (favorite char)/(favorite char) plz!" Are they annoying or what?"  
  
All: YES!!!  
  
*keeps reading* "Character bashing in fanfiction: What gives? Why not just leave out the chars you don't like?"  
  
Filia: why don't they leave out the characters you do like, like Xelloss! or leave me out!  
  
That's not quite the idea Filia...  
  
Ameria: It's like, why do they put characters in fanfiction just to be mean to them? It's very unjust! For example... *Amelia gets covered in custard*  
  
Oh man, Ameria, I don't hate you, but you rant more than me. And I am running out of custard to dump on you!   
  
Still moving on quickly hmm..."X/L. I've never thought of that. I mean Xelly did kiss Lina when Gourry never did."  
  
Lina: *blushes* I still haven't gotten him back for that...  
  
Xelloss: The things I do for my job!   
  
Lina: You say that... but that's not it is it?  
  
Xelloss: sore wa himitsu desu! *goes back to jigsaw*  
  
0.o hmm.... *Getting Evil ideas* well, the rest of the ran.. I mean question..." F/Z doesn't sound like it would work too much for me. I mean Xelloss-san is right about Filia being a stubborn dragon and she would have to have it her way. And Zel isn't one of the leave me out people for a long time. I mean he is stubborn too, hence the search for his non-existant cure."  
  
Zelgadiss: It's only non-existant if I give up trying.  
  
Filia: I'm not stubborn!   
  
Zelgadiss: yes, you are.  
  
Xelloss: I have to agree with Zelgabunny-chan.  
  
Zelgadiss: . . . Author-san let you watch Slayers Next - yet again, didn't she?   
  
Xelloss: yup! n_n;;  
  
Filia: I'm NOT stubborn! And you're doing that jigsaw all wrong! Work from the middle!!!!   
  
*ahem* more of the same justice-speech styled question! "And Xelly don't go praising that I said you were right cause Filia is right too. You do work for a decrepit old lord covered in ice. I mean Zelas sends you to do everything while she drinks and smokes."  
  
Xelloss: *Twitch* firstly, Juu-ou sama isn't the one covered in ice.... and secondly *Grows demon head* How do you know what Zelas-sama does all day!? SORE WA HIMITSU DESU!!!!!   
  
Ooops... Xellie-kuuuuun.... calm down. Xellie!   
  
Xelloss: *blinks* (He must have opened his eyes 0.o) Did I just do a Filia-special?   
  
Filia: What was that?!  
  
Xelloss: The jigsaw is nearly done!   
  
Filia: That's not what you said  
  
Xelloss: I didn't say I said it.   
  
You two! Ahem! Pay attention! "Xelly, if you dislike Fi-chan so much why don't you just kill her like the other dragons? And don't tell me it's because she's a useful tool. You save her too. And opposites do attract. I mean look at the title. "Beauty and the Beast" That's a perfect example there. And more. ya don't have to be entirely opposite."  
  
Xelloss: I wasn't told to kill her. End of story. Author-san let the the Mazoku and the selfish dragon out of the room, and everyone lived unhappily ever after...  
  
XELLOSS!!!   
  
Lets look at some similarities that have been pointed out! "All you do is argue about how you are different. You think the same things sometimes, You both get on eachother's nerves and everyone else's too. Both helped in the defeat of Darkstar. You both have really cool weapons, Mace-sama and the staff. You both have things that tell you apart from other people, eyes and tail. You both make adorable chibis. You both claim you hate eachother." Etc... etc....   
  
Xelloss: Yeah, I make the cutest chibi!  
  
Filia: Only if you're a mazoku  
  
Xelloss: no the fangirls think so too n_n  
  
Filia: oh yeah? hey... Is that a plushie of a chibi me in your satchel?!   
  
Xelloss: *checks* Looks like it. How DID that get there?  
  
Filia: *Pulls out mace-sama with a chibi black cone plushie on it* I'll pound you to a pulp Xelloss!   
  
Xelloss: Where did you get that plushie?!   
  
*gasp* Filia! You stole my chibi Xellie plushie! *clicks fingers and both plushies vanish*  
  
Xelloss: *scratches head* yare yare... strange things keep happening  
  
Filia: *pounds him* Its YOU!!   
  
*shrugs as dustcloud fight breaks out* Question for Ameria! "how much training does it take to be a  
follower of Justice?"  
  
Ameria: Lots! You must keep on training, so that justice will triumph over evil like mazoku! beacuse if you don't train you will...  
  
Gourry: Fall out of trees and land on your face all the time?   
  
Ameria: No Mr Gourry! You won't be able to make the world a better place, which is what I, Ameria Wil....  
  
Zelgadiss! What if the cure was to be able to accept yourself as you are now? Then the magic   
would curse break.  
  
Ameria: But Author-san, I didn't fini...  
  
Well Zelgadiss?  
  
Zelgadiss: . . .  
  
Ameria: Author-san, this is unjust! you should let me....  
  
Come on Zelgadiss?  
  
Zelgadiss: Well, then one day, the cure will suddenly happen.   
  
ok, question for me! *Leaps around* oh goody!   
  
All: *sweatdrop*  
  
"if you can control the entire scenary and the entire set and what the people say...cant you just make them kiss each other?"  
  
Umm... I shouldn't, there's this little thing called "IC" In Character, and beisdes, it's cruel, but what the hey? Just this once... *Snaps fingers*   
  
*Xelloss and Filia kiss, not passionately, but just kiss*  
  
Xelloss: AAAAAHHHHHHH! *jumps away from Filia*  
  
Filia: What did you do that for?!  
  
Xelloss: I can't believe I kissed the lizard!   
  
Filia: How dare you kiss me you piece of trash!   
  
Xelloss: Suitable reaction?... um... uh oh?  
  
Filia: I'm going to kill you!   
  
STOOOOOOOP! Gomen... it was my author powers....   
  
Filia: *glares*  
  
Xelloss: *Spitting in the corner, gives deathglare* Just you wait, Author-san....  
  
O_O Xelloss wants to kill me. I really shouldn't have done that... Umm.... ahh... Xel... can we sort this out some other time?   
  
Answer another question, please?  
  
Xelloss: I don't want to. *continues deathglare*  
  
Xellie.... Xellie... yeesh... Well if you don't answer questions, you STAY in there!   
  
Xelloss: Then I'll kill Filia. Don't get me wrong author-san... If I have to I will.   
  
Filia: Eeeeeee!   
  
*scratches head* Xelloss-sama... just a few more, then I'll write a request fic for you?  
  
Xelloss: *thinks* Alright, you owe me big, Author-san.   
  
good! n_n;; answer this one... "look, im a BIG x/f fan, and id like to ask you, what is it that you dont like about xelloss/filia?   
and what would you do if you could like each other with no one pressuring you or annoying you to be with the other, and it was all your own choice, would you like him/her? this question is for both of you."  
  
Xelloss: It's usually a misinterpretation of my true character. Many Filia/Xelloss fiction are out of character for us both!   
  
Filia: I don't like Xelloss. Thats it.  
  
Xelloss: And I don't like Filia.   
  
Filia: Why not?   
  
Xelloss: Himitsu desu!   
  
Filia: You've used that phrase waaaaay to many times today.   
  
Oi, knock it off. Question for Filly! Do you own a diary? What kind of things are written there? How you feel about things? Same for Xelly!  
  
Xelloss: Diary sore wa himitsu desu!   
  
Filia: Why do you keep using that phrase?  
  
Xelloss: Himitsu desu!   
  
Filia: In ENGLISH!   
  
Xelloss: Diary's are secret!  
  
Filia: Yes, they are. They're not to be read by others!   
  
Don't start..... "Second, you can each choose an animal to be, which would it be? A unicorn, pegasus? Griffin? What?"  
  
Xelloss: Any animal I want... big bad wolfie, with fangs and attitiude  
  
Filia: A perfect dragon! *smiles*  
  
Here's one for both "If you could be with anybody from any anime who would it be? No "sore wa himitsu desu" in ANY languages!"  
  
Xelloss: Awwwww what? No sore wa?   
  
Filia: Hmm.... Thats a hard one....  
  
Xelloss: It is... Do I have to say? They might be in the audience, and get very mad.   
  
Filia: You have a crush on someone?  
  
Xelloss: did I say that?  
  
Filia: Any anime.... Any anime.... Whats an anime?   
  
Xelloss: *snicker*   
  
Well, lets do one more... "Filia, did you 'love' Valgarv before he was turned into a egg?"  
  
Filia: PARDON?! How can you say something like that infront of all these people?!   
  
*Big Cheesy grin* oh, that killed a lot of time, What do you guys think is better? X/F or X/L? I can see lots of good reasons for X/L too!   
  
Xelloss: but that doesn't meant that you have too.....  
  
yes! Ask questions on that too! *coughs and glares in the audience* NO SMOKING! Sheesh!   
As always, I ask you now to let me know what you think, ask questions and enjoy! Waiiiiii!   
  
*sings But but but*   
  
______________________  
  
Oooooooh, just so you know  
  
Damarei baka! Anata wa namagomi desu! - Silence Idiot! You're raw kitchen garbage! . Original, ne? 


	15. room chaotica

Welcome back everyone! Or is it me who's back? 0.o I'm not entirely sure myself. but welcome back anyway!   
  
Xelloss: And just as I thought it was safe -.-;; Author-san, go away.  
  
^^;; No. *glomps Xelloss*  
  
Xelloss: Don't you have a fic to run?  
  
Eh? oh.... I'm currently wasting time at work, I could write Shabby-sama knows how many pages about me doing this.  
  
Xelloss: yeh, but people wouldn't read it. Now... *pries author-san using his staff* off.  
  
Okay, okay. I'll get on with it... *mutters* I'll get you later* Hey Xelliekins! Answer me a question would ya dear? You too Filly-chan.  
  
Filia: would you please stop calling me that?   
  
Naaaaaaaah, I like calling you that. Anyway, you two still haven't given a good reason on why you dislike eachother. Come on... give a reason (good song ^-^ ) why you just refuse to get along....  
  
Xelloss: Author-san! Stop with the song references already!  
  
Sorry, it was unintended. it was! Don't look at me like that ^^;; waitaminute.. XEL! stop trying to change the subject. And the end of the day you two are reasonable mature... okay, fairly mature...wait, occasionally mature...   
  
Xelloss: I don't like Filia because she dismissed me offhandedly, just went out of her way to argue with me and insulted when I didn't actually do anything. Hows that for a reason?  
  
Not bad... Filia?  
  
Filia: Do we HAVE to answer this again?! A priestess of the fire dragon king just simply cannot listen to any lowlife mazoku...  
  
Xelloss: My my, here she goes again...  
  
Filia: What was that Namagomi?  
  
Xelloss: Nothing, nothing at all, dragon miko. Just commenting on your self-centered prejusticed race. Amelia-san! Filia's being racist again. That's really unjust!  
  
Amelia: *Sits up* Filia-san! How dare you be so vile! All races deserve...  
  
Lina: *Socks Amelia one* Xelloss is just as bad.   
  
Filia: Do evil unjust mazoku deserve to be allowed to terrorise this world. Should we stand by and be friends with them while the kill and destroy? No. They live to bring terror into the world...  
  
Amelia: Xelloss-san! You tricked me! I demand you abandon your evil ways! Mazoku should be punished for their crimes!  
  
Xelloss: But Amelia...   
  
Amelia: No Xelloss-san! now repeat after me...  
  
Xelloss: 0.o Amelia, you're being unjust, I tried to say something.  
  
Amelia: oops. Forgive me Xelloss-san.  
  
Xelloss: I was going to say, if mazoku stop being mean, and destructive, etc etc, firstly, we're not doing what we were made for and secondly, we'd starve to death! Now Amelia, is it just of you to try and murder us in such a cruel way? I think not.  
  
Amelia: Well, um... eh... I uh...   
  
Filia: He's trying to trick you again Amelia! Don't listen!  
  
Zelgadiss: This is ridiculous.   
  
Gourry: What's wrong with Amelia?  
  
Xelloss: Oh, have I actually done anything truely evil and dispicable infront of you?  
  
Amelia: Well...no...  
  
Lina: Apart from using us as pawns, and having you own little agenda to use us as bait and entertainment.   
  
*Sits back and reads Xelloss' top 100 facts of history book*   
  
Xelloss: You take me far too seriously Lina-chan  
  
Lina: Oh yeah... Just you wait until you come out of that room! I have something else to get you back for too!   
  
Amelia: I'm confused.  
  
*sigh* hey, guys, calm it. Hows that jigsaw?  
  
Xelloss: There's about 3 pieces missing! -.- Author-san...  
  
Oh my! You'd better find them! Anyway... Lets move on. Now if you don't answer this honestly, there IS an audience demand for me to make you two kiss again... and you'd definetly have more time to...'savour' the moment. n.n, keeping that in mind, Xelloss, do you find Filia attractive? And what is the most attractive about her? you have said yourself that you don't mind the view when she reaches for Mace-sama. Also, what about her dragon form?   
  
Xelloss: 0.o *edges away from Filia* She's a very attractive blend of anger and hate that is very refreshing to feed upon...   
  
I think the question was about her looks.  
  
Xelloss: oooooooooooh, I see. Blondes aren't really my type *shrug* they look nice sometimes, but there's better. Purples and Silvers and blues and blacks, and even some redheads...  
  
Carry on ^-^ What's most attractive about Filia?  
  
Xelloss: Physically, I like her dragon form best.   
  
Filia: X_x!  
  
Lina: 0.o  
  
Zelgadiss: ...  
  
Amelia: um.  
  
^^;; ooooookay. Why? Or shouldn't I ask?  
  
Xelloss: because she really makes a mess like that! n.n   
  
Filia: Why you... *Does the grabbing mace-sama from under skirt routine*  
  
Xelloss: oh, I like that too. *jumps aside*  
  
Filia: hold still while I hit you!!! *dust cloud fight ensues, Xelloss obviously not getting hit though*  
  
I'll have to come back to the next question I think. It was for Filia. In the mean time, here's one for *groan* Amelia.   
  
What would you do if you marry and had a son and started very happily... but that son turns to be evil and you had to fight him, there's nobody else who can do it - one on one and the only way to stop him from doing more evil is killing him, but if you do everyone who you love will hate you but if you don't the world will fall on darkness. What do you choose? Love and darkness or duty and unhappiness?   
  
Amelia: no son of mine would grow into a villian! And if he did, and would not see the error of his ways, the safety of the world and true justice comes first and foremost!  
  
*sweatdrop* Life isn't that simple Ame-chan. Anyway, one for Lina now ^-^  
What are your feelings for Gourry? There have been occasions when you turn a lovely shade of scarlet on the topic of love, and Gourry.   
  
Lina: FIREBALL!  
  
*gets toasted* Now now, Lina come on.   
  
Lina: yeah, well there maybe something... Gourry! *tackles him* That was my meat!  
  
Zelgadiss: Where'd the food come from anyway?  
  
Amelia: I dunno Zelgadiss-san, but it is nice.  
  
Amelia, what are your feelings for Zelgadiss?  
  
Amelia: *turns red* I refuse to answer that in public. Hpmh!   
  
Zelgadiss: *is a little red* ...  
  
Well, looks like the fight has calmed down. Xellie! Xel! HEY! Namagomi!  
  
Xelloss: Filia... author-san wants you.  
  
Filia: she wants you namagomi.  
  
XELLOSS!!!!  
  
Filia: n.n see?  
  
Xellie, how do you feel about being a human? Do you ever think of being human even if you aren't ordered too? No secrets in any language or other evasion of the question, please.  
  
Xelloss: Would I want to be human? *thinks* Lets see, short life span, weak, gullable...   
  
Lina, Amelia, Zelgadiss: We'll show YOU gullable!  
  
Gourry: Whats a gullable?  
  
Xelloss: n_n;; Only from an interest point of view I suppose. I don't see any reason why anyone would want to be human.   
  
Why?   
  
Xelloss: Look, you have to eat things you don't like to help you stay alive, humans have to find a partner to reproduce too... how inconvienient and slow!   
  
Oh, there are bonuses to that ^-^, I'd love to explain, but this is a suitable for all fic.  
  
Xelloss: *shrug*  
  
Filly, what would be the worst situation anyone could put you in? Same for you, Xelliekins.  
  
Filia: In bed with him!  
Xelloss: In bed with her!  
  
Fine. Be like that. Answer this instead. You're both stuck in the modern human world, what would you do? Jobs? etc...  
  
Filia: I would like to run a tea shop in a quiet villiage in a pretty country and never be bothered by irritating Mazoku.  
  
Xelloss: I want to be in the mafia! It's so me! The suits, the cars, the entire thing.  
  
*Imagines Xelloss carrying a guitar case.* 0.o  
  
Xelloss: Or I would be one of the men in black!  
  
0.o *files away fanart/fanfic idea for the future* That's not even real Xellie.  
  
Xelloss: I can make it real.  
  
*Ahem* Filia, Ignoring that you claim you hate him, what do you think of Xellie's looks? I trust you to know what I think about you trying to avoid the question.   
  
Filia: Let me look at him for a moment. Dorky haircut, terrible fashion sense, not my kind of guy.  
  
Filia... there's one more for you... Filia-san where do you get your mace? Where is your shop and how much are they? What colours do they come in?   
  
Filia: I buy my maces from Filia's Mace and pottery shop, which sells them in all sizes and colours. Ranging from the ever popular, ping pong effect variety, all the way to namagomi-mazoku smasher. Prices range to suit. The shop is located...  
  
Xelloss: Somewhere in the world!   
  
Filia: Auuuuuuugh!!! *chases the namagomi*  
  
Well guys that wraps up yet another part of this long one chapter fic ^^;; Bt it ain't finished yet. Ohhhhhhhh no! I have something hidden in store for those two *hides Best of Slayers from TV and Radio CD behind back* And I seriously want to look at the issue of X/L pairings too...  
  
Lina: NO! you Don't!  
  
yes I do!   
  
hope you enjoyed, please review and ask more questions (Even for Lina ^-^ ). 


	16. Otome No Inori

The idea was irresistable Zelloss ^-^   
  
****The Truth Behind Beauty And The Beast - Bordom Killer special****  
  
we're back! Mwahaha! The mazoku and the ryu still haven't finished the jigsaw and...0.o Did they have a food fight I didn't see or something?   
  
Zelgadiss: Why am I covered in custard?  
  
Lina: I'm covered in Barbequ... hey! *eating salsa off Gourry whilst Gourry is trying to eat the Barbeque sauce on Lina*  
  
Amelia: this is unjust! There's a prowler on stage somewhere!   
  
Xelloss/Filia: You noticed! We're covered in flour!  
  
ho huum.... *dumps ice cold water over them all*  
  
Xelloss: this is sticky.  
  
Filia: yuck!   
  
Xelloss: *glomps Fi* We agreed on something.... 0.o no! We're stuck together!   
  
Thats nice for you dear.   
  
Lina: Fire......BALL! *dries/toasts Amelia, Zel, Gourry and herself*  
  
Okay questions guys... Gourry, are you really a genius?  
  
Gourry: Aren't those the blue guys that appear out of lamps when you rub them?  
  
Lina: *facefaults*   
  
Zelgadiss: Compared to him, they are geniuses.  
  
Lina, what do you think of Luna?  
  
Lina: Where?! *looks around frantically.*   
  
She's not here... Li-chan, what do you think of her?  
  
Lina: Luna? eh heh...oh. um... Sore wa himitsu desu n_n!!! *fake laugh*  
  
0.o giving me nasty flashbacks to a X/Luna fic I found once...   
  
Xelloss: You found a what?!?!   
  
I find all sorts of stuff when I'm bored.  
  
Xelloss: you mean you write it.  
  
I did not write it. I'm writing an even Whackier one than that. it's almost ???/X  
  
Xelloss: Author-san, nobody wants to know. People just don't like shameless self advertising. ....Who is it?  
  
Sore wa himitsu desu Xellie-kun.  
  
Xelloss: Tell me!   
  
Filia: Betcha it's Zelas.  
  
Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It's not that. It's really 0.o... *digs through bag* no... someone stole it...   
  
Amelia: *Holds up a pile of papers and runs over.* Is this...* Amelia skids on the slippy floor and falls over*  
  
Yup! n_n *takes papers from her* Really, no stealing Amelia-san.   
  
Amelia: *nursing bump on her head* I didn't steal it. And the floor is very slippy!   
  
*Flicking through fic papers* yeh yeh, boo hoo. You fell over. Everyone knows you're clumsy.  
  
Amelia: I think its unjust of you to write that fic pairing...  
  
Next question!   
  
Amelia: ...-san and Xelloss-san...  
  
For Zelagadiss, ever think of looking for a cure in a paper weight?  
  
Zelgadiss: What kind of stupid question is that? *sigh* I can't go round looking at all the paper weights in the world can I?  
  
Amelia: Author-san! I can't believe you were so rude to me!  
  
pfffffft. Question for you anyway, Amelia, why must life be wonderful?  
  
Amelia: because that would be the best way of life! Life is wonderful! It really is!   
  
Xelloss: -.-;; make her stop quick...  
  
Actually, life often sucks.   
  
Filia: Hmm.... no, it's wonderful!   
  
Gourry: This pie is wonderful! *eating*  
  
Amelia: ...Subarashii!!!!!!!   
  
My fave japanese word...but... anyway... Look at Zel.. he hates the way is body is, that makes life wonderful? Don't you think saying that has a negative effect on him?  
  
Zelgadiss: ... this is stupid.  
Amelia: You repeat after me author-san, then maybe you'll cheer up a bit! Life is wonderful author-san.  
  
0.o Amelia... you're wierd.  
  
Amelia: come on author-san, say it!  
  
Filia: like this. Life is so wonderful! Life is........EEEEEEEEEK!  
  
Xelloss: *holding Filia's tail*   
  
Filia: Get offa me!!!!!!   
  
Xelloss: I'm trying but the flour is very sticky!   
  
Filia: -.-;; then teleport.  
  
Xelloss: I can't be bothered.   
  
Filia: *teleports herself* okay, now you're going to get it namagomi!   
  
Xelloss: *runs and tramples over jigsaw* Oops!  
  
Filia: *chases him round and round and round the room*  
  
Amelia: Say it author-san.   
  
It. there. Said it. do you get the feeling Xellie likes being chased by Filly-chan?  
  
Amelia: Yeah, I do.  
  
Oh well. Leave 'em playing, got another question for you Ame-chan  
  
Amelia: Oh?   
  
what do you prefer, Ameria or Amelia?   
  
Amelia: It's correctly Ameria, but what are you going to do about it?   
  
Nothing ^-^ I'm just too used to seeing you called Amelia. Anyway, what would you do if you were paired up with Xelloss or Filia?  
  
Amelia: Teach Xelloss to be good and just! And me paired with Filia? You hentai!!   
  
Filia: *stops chasing Xellie* What?!  
  
Xelloss: *skid to a stop* Fi-chan you should stick to your own age group at least.  
  
Filia: Why you....   
  
*Ahem* Question Filia!! Why does a mazoku presence send shivers up your back?  
  
Filia: It just does! *Goes to wallop Xel*  
  
Here they go again *sigh* Xellie, can't you hide your aura?  
  
Xelloss: *jumps Fi's mace* No, this is far more fun.  
  
Fine. one for you both. What would you do if the other died?  
  
Xelloss: *lands on Fi's shoulders* Buy a pet to keep me amused in my spare time.  
  
Filia: Celebrate.... *glares upward* get off me you creep.  
  
Xelloss: *takes a ferret out from under Filia's hat* 0.o *looks for more stuff*  
  
Filia: *twitch* get....off...now....  
  
Xelloss: *takes out a plushie of himself.* Whew! Who'd have thought?!  
  
Filia: You put that in there! *mace bashes him, but of course, he teleports and she hits herself on the head* Itai...  
  
*snicker* another question Filly-chan. Who was the person ...or mazoku who you were singing about in the song 'Somewhere'?  
  
Filia: thats personal *glare*  
  
Aha! But if you don't answer, I shall point out ALL the metaphors that could fit a certain mazoku...  
  
Xelloss: Author-san, you have waaaaaaaay too much free time.  
  
*singing* let me hear your voice, let me be with you, when the shadow falls down upon me....  
  
Filia: Okay okay! I'll answer!  
  
oh, who then?  
  
Sore wa himitsu desu!   
  
¬_¬ only zelgadiss, Amelia and Gourry haven't used that phrase today. *sigh* Anyway, Filia, you were completely left out of Slayers Premium. Does this make you angry, or glad that you didn't have to make an appearance?  
  
Filia: Let me think... appear in that, where Lina-san and Gourry-san, and Zelgadiss-san and Amelia-san were obviously paired up, walk around just saying 'boobless' and possibly be paired up with what looks like a 14year old Xelloss. Leave me out of it.  
  
Hmm... What did you think of Premium Xellie?  
  
Xelloss: sore wa... hi...mit...su... desu!  
  
Yes yes... That was very funny when you said it -.-;; just don't do it again.   
  
So, a mazoku and a dragon trying to complete a jigsaw in order to escape being stuck in a room together, and not suceeding. It's time to follow through something they said earlier.  
  
If you two were to enter a karoke contest and the prize could be whatever you want, to which you replied earlier, you would want out of the room - this is your opportunity! n_n  
  
Xelloss: You want us to sing?  
  
yup! thats not too harsh is it?  
  
Filia: Well... it can't be all that bad.  
  
Xelloss: It depends on the song author-san!! *waggles finger*  
  
Well Xellie, you know what my favourite songs are n_n  
  
Xelloss: Oh I don't mind doing those... Filia might though  
  
Filia: ...  
  
Oh goody!! Then you two will do my 5th favourite song...  
  
Xelloss: Not your first or second? 0.o  
  
Nope! My fifth!  
  
Filia: And what is your fifth favourite song?  
  
Otome no Inori!!! *Snicker*  
  
Xelloss: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!   
  
Lina: *Goes bright red and holds in a laugh..... and fails* BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
Amelia: *Snicker*  
  
Gourry: Uh?   
  
Zelgadiss: Well this should prove.... interesting.  
  
Filia: Eh? *looks around* I obviously missed something  
  
Xelloss: And are you going to make us wear....  
  
*nod nod* Yes indeed!  
  
Filia: *looks from side to side* Will someone explain?  
  
Amelia: *Presents Xel with the pink costume*   
  
Xelloss: I'm not doing this.  
  
Filia: He has to wear that? *snicker*  
  
Amelia: *gives Filia the blue costume* Do your best Filia-san.  
  
Filia: NO WAY!!!!!!!!   
  
Xelloss: And if we do, you'll let us out of this room?  
  
yup!   
  
Xelloss: Okay! *changes into outfit* come on fifi!  
  
Filia: FIFI?!?! I am not a dog!   
  
Xelloss: you want out or not?   
  
Filia: but still!   
  
Xelloss: Put the dress on! *tackles Filia*  
  
Filia: The hentai is trying to undress me!!   
  
Xelloss: It's not like I haven't seen it before when you've transformed....   
  
Filia: Iiiieeeeeee! *smashes him upside the head*  
  
looks like author-san has to intervene once again! *snaps fingers and they are wearing their dresses* Suits ya Xellie-kun ^.~  
  
Xelloss: thanks ^^;; *hands Filia the words*  
  
Filia: I'm NOT doing this!!   
  
Xelloss: If I do this and not Filia... can she have to do a forfeit?   
  
We think alike Xellie-kun ^-^   
  
Filia: What forfeit?   
  
Hmm... You'll have to glomp Xelloss n_n  
  
Xelloss: hey!   
  
*whispers to him*   
  
Xelloss: *nod nod* And I get a request fic.   
  
Hmm... deal!   
  
Well, Filly-chan, you're not going to do it?   
  
Filia: After reading the words.... NO!   
  
Xelloss: Then you'll have to do a forfeit.  
  
Filia: You can't make me do anything. I'd rather stay in this room.   
  
Xelloss: Fine. Let me out author-san and I'll do it.  
  
okee! *lets Xel out to sing his rather impressive rendition of the Otome no Inori song.*  
  
*claps* not bad Xellie!! get changed ^^;;   
  
Female Voice in Audience: That's my boy!   
  
Xelloss: eh? *shifty look* Who said that?   
  
Filia: wait a minute... Author-san! Thats not what the words on this lyric sheet said!   
  
Amelia: *reads from Filia's word-sheet* Dragon's who are pretty, will fall out of the sky and make a big boom boom...   
  
No wonder she wouldn't sing it... Xellie-kun!! That was mean. *reads lyrics* 0.o and very hentai... did you invent these dance steps?   
  
Xelloss: Well, you know, the tail just had opportunities not to be missed...   
  
*waps Xelloss on the head* Filia's not glomping you, but you can have a request fic for being a sport and singing properly it yourself. Filly-chan, you can come out too.   
  
Filia: *changed in to her normal clothes* Thank you author-san. Xelloss... get changed!  
  
Zelgadiss: *looking away* Is he still wearing that dress?  
  
Lina: dunno, i'm not looking myself.  
  
Amelia: same here  
  
Gourry: Yup! Say Lina... perhaps you could get some tips from him, he's got nice legs and fills the top of the dress quite wel...  
  
Lina: FIREBALL!  
  
Gourry: What'd I do?!   
  
Zelgadiss: Tell us when it's safe.  
  
Gourry: *cough cough* he's gotten changed.  
  
Zelgadiss: *Looks up* 0_o!!!!   
  
Filia: Give my dress back namagomi!   
  
Xelloss: But I'll be naked!   
  
Filia: Get your normal clothes on now!!   
  
Xelloss: But i'm wearing this. Is this shade of pink my colour, or maybe it should be a bit darker?   
  
Filia: *Snatches her dress off him and puts it on.*   
  
Xelloss: hey! *warps clothing on before any one spots his 'chibi-wolf-and-carebears-go-to-the-zoo' boxers*   
  
Filia: it's safe now.  
  
All: *phew!*   
  
Male voice in audience: You can stop using me as a camera stand now.  
  
Perhaps I should set Xellie and Filly sets of tasks to complete together ^-^ like team building exercises! Anyways, please please please leave reviews ^-^ and questions... and ideas.... Which pairings are best for them all? And whats the whackiest possible pairing for Xelloss? *huggles fic papers* What do the other mazoku think of X/F? If Valgaav had a child with a human, what would the child be? Where did that question come from? How long will it take me to get the next chapter up? not long hopefully!   
  
Oh before I forget, I actually have MP3's of Xelloss Singing Otome No Inori and Breeze... Honest to L-sama I do. If you wanna hear them drop me an email ^.~ 


	17. lotsa lotsa questions!

*waves to the audience* Do you know what? there's a whole load of questions to be answered. See, now they're sitting reasonably together, I'm going to try and get these answered! So, Firstly, for Lina!  
  
If, for one reson or another, you had to marry one of the guys in your group, who would it be? Xelloss included, and no dodging the subject!  
  
Lina: *goes a lovely shade of red* Well... um... I wouldn't marry a mazoku...  
  
Xelloss: See! See! the racism in the group!!   
  
Amelia: It's not racism technically, mazoku are evil... and unless you change your way Xelloss-san, you will always be treated like that.   
  
Lina: *phew!*   
  
Xelloss: oh! I see! Well then, I won't talk with humans anymore. They're all stupid, ignorant and gullable!  
  
Amelia: Now that's not fair Xelloss-san! You can't...  
  
*blink blink* Those two may fight for a while... *fades their bickering into the background* Carry on Lina.  
  
Lina: Well, Zelgadiss is a nice guy, no offence Zel-chan, but you're not my type.   
  
Zelgadiss: none taken.  
  
Lina: *twitches and glares at Xelloss and Amelia still arguing about racism.* WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF!?!  
  
Xelloss: *shrugs and knocks Amelia into a vat of custard.*  
  
Amelia: Xelloss-saaaan!!!!!! *climbs out and cleans herself off*  
  
Moving on... Lina... Who would most like to be kissed by?  
  
Lina: A handsome prince!  
  
Amelia: like daddy?  
  
Zelgadiss: She said handsome.  
  
Amelia: hey!!!   
  
*snicker* one more Lina...Have you ever considered that if your eating habits continue as they are, you'll get bigger, and it will not go to your chest?  
  
Lina: Fire....   
  
uh oh *holds up Xelloss as a shield.*   
  
Lina: ...BALL!!!   
  
Xelloss: Aww cra..... *gets toasted*  
  
Sorry Xellie-kins, I thought you were Amelia! n_n  
  
Amelia: This chapter is against me. This is very unjust.   
  
Isn't it!! Possibly because of who's sponsoring our stage work. Dum dum dummmm.... hey, questions for Gourry now...  
Two people have asked this! Are you reall as d... er... clueless as you seem, or are you hiding incredible genius somewhere in there?  
  
Gourry: eh?  
  
others: *nod*  
  
*sigh* ooooooh boy. If Lina can't have the Hikari no Ken (Sword of Light) Then...can I?   
  
nooooo! Anyway those other guys have it!   
  
Lina: NO ONE is taking MY sword of light.  
  
Gourry: But it's not yours!  
  
Lina: You said I could have it!   
  
Gourry: And YOU said you'd buy dinner.  
  
Lina: eh? I never said that, you must of imagined it, jellyfish brains!  
  
Xelloss: Hey Gourry, if and when the Sword of Light comes back can I borrow it please?   
  
Gourry: how long for?   
  
Xelloss: Not long. A day perhaps. *under his breath* give or take a milenia or two  
  
Gourry: I suppose. You did ask nicely after all!  
  
Lina: *socks Gourry upside the head* don't lend my Sword of Light to mazoku.   
  
Xelloss: again with the racism!!   
  
Gourry: it's mine anyway! not yours!   
  
Lina: yeah well, Xelloss, it's not like you'd use the sword for the good of the world.  
  
Xelloss: I may not use it at all.  
  
Lina: then who would?  
  
Gourry: *looks between the two blinking*   
  
Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu! *taps Lina on the nose* n_n  
  
Lina: Oh, that really makes me trust you.  
  
*sigh* Lina and Xelloss DO get along rather well. *ignores glares from both* Gourry... What's your favourite food?  
  
Gourry: Food is my favourite!   
  
ooooooookay .... lets move on once again... Have you ever considered, Zelgadiss-san, that your body is not hideous, but in fact, really attractive? Amelia still likes you. and plenty of other non-justice living freaks do, too. Just a thought.  
  
Zelgadiss: *small blush* ... Well, thats not really the way I see it. I don't like it.  
  
Xelloss: Look, if Zelgadiss wants to cure his hideous, ugly, freakshow body, then don't try to dissuade him. I'm sure he'd prefer to be normal. Oh by the way Zelgadiss...I meant to ask, since you're so much boulder than me...  
  
XELLOSS!!!!!! leave him alone! *eyes Zel fangirls warily*   
  
Zelgadiss: *lost in a cloud of depression lines*  
  
*sigh and snaps fingers*  
  
Xelloss: *appears on Lina's lap* 0.o  
  
How cute!! *takes a picture*   
  
Lina: FIREBALL!!!!!!!!!   
  
*Xelloss flies into author-san* ugh! I suggest you behave from now Xel-kun. *whispers* Zelgadiss fangirls are scary... I know this. Good try, but keep the golem jokes till they're not around, ne?  
  
Anyway! Zelgadiss! If you had to pick one of the girls in your group to be with for all eternity, who would it be? Why?  
  
Zelgadiss: lets see... Lina, Amelia, Filia or Xelloss... hard choices.  
  
Xelloss: *thinking hard* Do I...? ... don't I? *teleports on Zel's lap* Zelly....  
  
Zelgadiss: 0_o!! Augh!!!!! *punches Xelloss away* Put him back in the room Author-san.  
  
You deserved that!!! So, If you had to actually be one of the girls in the group for the rest of your life, who would it be, and why?  
  
Zelgadiss: Lina, undoubtedly. Anybody who can eat that much and not gain an inch on their waistline must harbour some amazing power.  
  
Lina: ¬_¬  
  
Okay, questions for *shudder* Amelia. first, a very valid point, have you ever considered the fact that your Justice speeches don't just hurt Mazoku? Ever noticed that Humans can't stand them either? And if you have, then don't you think it's unjust to hurt people just so that you can talk?  
  
Amelia: Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. We must spread the message that an absolute level of justice is absolutely, positively nec...  
  
Lina: *punches Amelia in the stomach*  
  
^^;;; thank you Li-chan.   
  
Next question Amelia, about your attitude at the Marriage Temple. Did you ever think of anyone other than yourself then, hm? What if Lina likes Zelgadiss, eh? Or what if Gourry liked you? Whouldn't it then be unjust for you to have complained so much? and no matter what, it was unjust for you to be that snippy to Gourry on the way there, even if Lina is often meaner to him.  
  
Amelia: Well... I...uh... you see... Lina-san obviously likes Gourry-san. It's not fair of me to ...take...  
  
Lina: *dangerous look* Wanna carry on speaking Amelia?   
  
Amelia: ^^;; can I move on to the next question please author-san?  
  
Okay! When you threw that fireball at your Uncle's and it made a big BOOM, the cave collapsed, am I right? And while you and your father and friends got out, Your Uncle didn't did he? So he would have died, because of you, yet after you got out, you didn't show much remorse. Isn't that very Mazoku-like, and unjust?  
  
Amelia: I didn't have time to...   
  
Xelloss: Is the true? Amelia! Thats fantastic. And I thought you were a little do-goody whiney sap...   
  
Amelia: But but... I...   
  
Hey, Amelia, considering that, Who are YOU to preach about Justice, hmm?  
  
Amelia: I try to be just... and do my best to spread the message to make others try as hard as I do!   
  
Oh! So it's do as I say and not as I do now? Thats unjust too!   
  
Amelia: Now listen author-san! it's not like that! Just because I'm not perfect, doesn't mean I can't encourage others to try to be too...  
  
Xelloss: But you should set an example....  
  
Amelia: You're both very unjust!!!   
  
*shrug* so sue me. *claps hands* Filly-chan!!   
  
Filia: would you knock off calling me that?   
  
No. Anyway...being a preistess of the Karyuou, it would be blasphemous to like Xelloss in any sense of the word. But, since you aren't a preistess anymore, wouldn't it be okay, IF you like him, just once to tell him, and then bash him upside the head for the snotty remark which would most surely folow? keep in mind the If, though. I didn't watch Try in English, and his nature still got to me. BTW, good hit with the Decrepit old Dark Lord Remark. ^^ I loved that!. ^.~  
  
Filia: The IF remains the keyword in this. However, it would be okay just once, so *turns to Xelloss* Namagomi, I like you... When you're flying through the air!! *swings mace-sama at him*   
  
Xelloss: *jumps over it and mace smashes Lina in the face* saw it coming! n_n  
  
Zelgadiss: 0_o *Edges away*  
  
Amelia: someone's about to die...  
  
Gourry: Diet? nonono!   
  
Lina: *lands on her face*   
  
Xelloss: *almost lands on Lina, but hits his airbrakes and hovers just above her*  
  
Filia: *backs away from Lina*  
  
Lina: *flaming aura grabs Xelloss foot from above her, swings him around in the air and throws him at Filia. The two land in a pile on the floor, Xelloss in a slightly comprimising position on Filia*  
  
Xelloss: Didn't expect to see you here! n_n  
  
Filia: me niether... hey!! Get offa me!! *flails*  
  
Lina: *Walks over, pulls Xelloss off Filia and rearranges him into a rather painful Yoga-like position* NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!! *Drops him and sits* Gourry, give me those!   
  
Filia: *returns to her seat*  
  
Zelgadiss: Xelloss got off lightly...  
  
I knew it!! *waves a X/L flag*  
  
Lina: Put...That...Away... Author-san...  
  
^^;; okay. *puts flag away* Filia, If you had to be with anyone in Lina's group, who would it be? I've been asked to temporarily deafen the men's ears so that Filly-chan won't be embarassed.  
  
Zelgadiss: you better deafen Xelloss as well though  
  
¬_¬ I suppose so. The Mazoku and men are now deaf.  
  
Filia: Umm... Not Xelloss. That only leaves Gourry or Zelgadiss and they're both less than ideal. At least Gourry isn't as stubborn as Zelgadiss.   
  
okay, they have hearing again. Filia-san, your hair is so pretty! I was wondering if it's just naturally that way, and you're really, really lucky, or if you use a special shampoo?  
  
Filia: *blush* It takes a lot of work. I try.  
  
*sigh* jeez, Filia-fans... The bow on your tail is so cute! I was wondering though...must it be pink...? Was that color absolutely necessary? and has it always been your color, or is it a recent change?  
  
Filia: I happen to like pink. it goes with my outfit.  
  
And another... You say that you don't like Xelloss. However, Filia-san, you hit him all the time, and we know he likes that. Are you sure you're not just showing him affection the way he likes it best and hiding your affection for him in one clean Mace-sama bashing?  
  
Xelloss: She is she is!! look at her blush!!  
  
Filia: No, that's just stress relief. If he liked it so much, he wouldn't run away!   
  
Gee, Filia, theres lots of questions for you...  
  
Filia: thats great. -.-;;   
  
Xelloss really hasn't been much of anything except polite to you (not saying that he isn't a cruel, namagomi baka a lot, but still) so, when he is polite, why not be polite back? At least he tries...  
  
Filia: He's just polite to get to me. Me doing the same is possiby the response he wants. And a lot less satisfying.  
  
I know there's something up with that answer... ummm... Are you a Cat, Dog, Or Bird person?  
  
Filia: Cat or bird I think.  
  
Technically, are Dragons reptiles? I mean no offense by this.  
  
Xelloss: Yes, they are!   
  
Filia: Technically, yes, but it's a bit more complicated that that.  
  
What is your favourite animal?  
  
Filia: cats and rabbits are cute!   
  
Where would you go on a date?  
  
Filia: Depends who it was. You know if, it was certain people I don't want to date, I might say karyuou no shinda  
  
English people!!   
  
Filia: temple of the fire dragon king.  
  
0.o that sounds less cheesy in japanese!! Aha, here we go... Questions for Xellie!!  
  
Not that I have any real problems with your hair, but sometimes it does tend to look a little...Fruity. So, Why the bowl-cut? Personal taste or Zelas-sama's orders?  
  
Xelloss: Guess what! Sore wa...  
  
Himitsu desu.. yes yes, everybody knows. Next... Since you objected so fervently to a comment about Zelas-sama that I just forgot ^^(), why don't you tell us what she *does* do all day?  
  
Xelloss: I refer to my answer to the last question.  
  
*groan* You suck. I'm going to put an end to that himitsu phrase! *snaps fingers* So, next question. What if, say, Zelas-sama told you to go past being nice to Filia, maybe even seduce her? it's pretty obvious you'd do it, I mean, she IS your Master, but my point is, would you enjoy doing it? And Xelloss, I'm not talking about the ACT, 'cause it seems almost impossible for a man not to enjoy that (unless you're not really a man...?) but I mean breaking Filia down, would you enjoy that?  
  
Xelloss: sore wa opopopopopo desu... Author-san!!!   
  
yes?   
  
Xelloss: Actually, I can't think of many more enjoyable things.  
  
Filia: *shudder*   
  
Xelloss: *innocently* what?   
  
Filia: Go sit over there.  
  
Xelloss: *eyes up Fiia's skirt* no.  
  
Filia: HENTAI!!!! *Bashes him to the other side of the stage*  
  
That leads on to the next one nicely! ^-^ Just how far does your masochism go? At what point does pain really hurt? or does it never hurt, and you would die a happy Mazoku no matter what?  
  
Xelloss: *pulls his head out of the wall sporting huge grin* depends on the source of the pain. Some would some wouldn't.  
  
*reading questions* oya! I like this one!! Do you want to kill Amelia? I know many people who wish SOMEONE would...  
  
Xelloss: You're one, ne author-san? how about this then, no. Amelia causes far to much pain and suffering to destroy her! n_n  
  
Eeeeeee! *grumbles* You really are nasty. Do you really like Filia, and are showing your affection in the only way you know how, by hurting her? Is that how Mazoku show love?  
  
Xelloss: *thinking*... That I suppose, is a possible way of looking at it. *shakes head* I don't think so!  
  
Is it true that Mazoku can't Love, or is it just that your kind won't?  
  
Xelloss: Sore wa... -.-;; I can't say that any more. There's a lot of technicalities and so forth involved in the mazoku-love paradox... For example, obviously a mazoku themself can be happy, n_n , see, but what about the resulting emotion from the other partner? So, technically you could say won't, but another way of looking at it is won't because they can't...   
  
@_@ Stop trying to confuse me. Next question, how many Mazoku does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  
  
Xelloss: one that's not me ¬_¬  
  
Zelgadiss: All of them! Until they realise its a push fitting.  
  
Personally I'd say one to screw in the bulb and the rest to destroy the world around it.  
  
Xelloss: Can I do it... please? You got it all wrong!   
  
I know I know *snaps fingers* *sigh* How many mazoku does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  
  
Xelloss: Sore wa himitsu desu!  
  
Fine, you're not allowed to say that again though... Where would you go on a date?   
  
Xelloss: Depends who with. But I think a dragon Cuisine restaurant would be perfect!  
  
*Filia's teeth can be heard grinding*  
  
Xelloss: n_n  
  
Who's negative emotions taste better, in the group? Zelgadiss', Filia's, or maybe even Amelia's because she's so darned perky all the time and a change is nice?  
  
Xelloss: Well, Zelgadiss is sorta stodgy and bland... bit like him really...  
  
Zelgadiss: ...  
  
Xelloss: And Filia's are spicy! Amelia's makes a refreshing change. And author-san's are just scary.  
  
*Ahem* I AM not scary... What would your ideal girl be like? And would she be Human, Ryuzoku or Mazoku?  
  
Xelloss: Entertaining... to say the least.   
  
Hentai ¬_¬  
  
Xelloss: Mazoku too.  
  
hehe. 0.o Okay, these are for me to answer...  
  
Do you realize that, that time you made Xelloss and filia kiss, it was a disturbingly Phibrizzo-like gesture?  
  
Hai hai! Phibrizzo-sama!!!!  
  
all: *sweatdrop and edge away*  
  
Are you hiding the last three pieces of the Jigsaw puzzle?  
  
Sore wa himistu desu n_n  
  
Which pairings in slayers DO you prefer? Personally I think that the Marriage temple ones would have worked out fine, once Xellos stopped being so uptight, Filia stopped being so stubborn, and Amelia stopped whining.  
  
Well, I did prefer X/F but I think I just like them to bicker, but, generally L/G, A/Z and X/F or X/L or X/me if not X/no one... oh now Zelas/Xelloss I don't mind either...  
  
Xelloss: Hey! *rolls up sleeves* Something...   
  
Anything that makes good reading... *cheesy grin* Even X/A... But Xelloss/Zelas...  
  
Xelloss: Quit it. quit thinking that you freak. Stop it! Hentai baka author!  
  
Which of the characters would YOU most like to be paired with, ne?  
  
now THAT is a secret! n_n  
  
Xelloss: Bad bad author...  
  
Do you enjoy writing this as much as I enjoy reading it? i mean, Xel-chan and Fi-chan are so almost certainly in denial. But of *what, I wonder? They're cerainly hiding something.  
  
I love writing this fic!! *Waves fic flag* it's fun!! and this is shameless self advertising!! Anyway...  
  
Are you human? It's just a thought, you know, since I know so many other Authors who aren't. ^^() myself, for example!  
  
I'm not ^^;; But what am I? Sore wa...  
  
Xelloss: mazoku desu.  
  
Himitsu desu!!  
  
What is your favorite type of flower?  
  
Pretend -.-;;   
  
What would your ideal bishounen be like?  
  
Bishie!!! silky hair, mysterious and slightly femmy @_@  
  
You know, I'm starting to see lots of X/L hints... *ducks fireball* I guess Lina is a very attractive and destructive girl, ne, Xellie-chan? Or is Amelia more your type? How about Sherra? wait wait... Grey haired bimbo... Don't look at me like that.  
please Review as always!!! And I'll do more!! *waves X/L flag*   
  
Lina: Fireball!!  
  
*waves Zelas/X flag and dances off* 


	18. Hi Val-chan!

Xel: It look like author-san forgot about the fic... so... *sneeks off*   
  
Hi everyone! *waves* Where'd that mazok....oh *grabs* SIT!   
  
Zelgadiss: does he have to sit next to me?  
  
Xelloss: Author-san, has anyone ever told you you suck?   
  
You have plenty of times. now then, I got someone else in today, *takes a portable plot hole and lays in on the floor* Come on out... Wait... this is too cliché, must do it another way... *takes out a pokeball* I choose you, Valgaav!   
  
Valgaav: *appears on sofa next to Xelloss* -.-;; Why me?  
  
No fighting you two ^-^   
  
Xelloss: *poking Val with a pen* Of course not author-san. *poke poke*  
  
Valgaav: *sigh* *sigh* QUIT IT!  
  
Zelgadiss: This is going to get dangerous.   
  
Oh, before we continue, I'd like to thank Nene and Mimi in the audience for lending me the Otome No Inori costumes. And my fantastic Japanese skills and memory for the lyrics ^-^ Being an author has advantages, oh, and you do know that there are a lot of as yet unmentioned people in the audience? I'm sure they won't mind questioning either!   
  
Xelloss: *pokes Valgaav in the eye*  
  
Valgaav: *pulls Xelloss' hair*   
  
Xelloss: *picks Valgaav up and stabs him into the ground headfirst*  
  
Zelgadiss: Author-san... look behind you.  
  
oh bloody hell . I said no fighting!   
  
Xelloss: he pulled my hair!  
  
VALGAAV!!!!! Don't you listen? I said no fighting.   
  
Valgaav: *pulls his head out of the floor... and keeps some stuck on his horn*   
  
^-^ Chill guys. Valgaav, we're answering questions for the audience. Sit and listen for a few minutes, you'll get the idea, my engimatic friend. So... Lina, why don't you gain any weight? I mean you can pack away food and yet you don't gain an ounce. What's your secret?   
  
Lina: I use a lot of energy in my spells!   
  
Gourry: and her temper.  
  
Zelgadiss: I'll say.  
  
Valgaav: This is pretty stupid looking...   
  
Lina: I HAVE NOT GOT A BAD TEMPER!!!   
  
Amelia-san, why do you always have a justice speech and how do you have those cool effects?  
  
Amelia: It takes lots of practise and hard work to get my poses and effects just right! If you're on the mission of justice the effects will....   
  
Zelgadiss, why don't you like being a chimera? A lot of fangirls think you're Kawaii and cool!  
  
Zelgadiss: ///_-\\ I just don't okay?   
  
Xelloss: Why don't you think of all the money you could earn in a freak show?   
  
Lina: *light up eyes*  
  
Zelgadiss: *Socks the mazoku in the head* Shut up.  
  
Xelloss: *Duck*  
  
Valgaav: Ow... those rock hands hurt.   
  
Xelloss: better you than me Valgaav. *sits back up and gets hit in the head by both* Author-san!   
  
0.o leave him alone you two. Val... there's floorboard on your head still. Question for Gourry, why did you give up the Hikari no Ken up to Sirius and not to Lina?  
  
Gourry: Serious? it was serious. They needed it to fight that um... Dork star anyway, it was theirs first!   
  
Dork star? ^^;; Another for you, why don't you become a sorceror?   
  
Lina: Who's going to say it first?   
  
Gourry: Say what first?  
  
Zelgadiss: I got it. *Gourry voice* Darkness be... uhh...Lina?   
  
Lina: Yes Gourry?   
  
Zelgadiss: *Gourry voice* Whats the next word?  
  
Xelloss: sore wa himitsu desu!   
  
Amelia: no... she'd yell 'FIREBALL!'   
  
Lina: I WOULD NOT!   
  
The moral of the story is, he wouldn't remember the spells.   
  
Gourry: But I like my sword.  
  
And he likes his sword ^^;; Xellie, someone commented on how Kawaii your boxers are too. n_n  
  
Xelloss: You just had to say that, didn't you?   
  
Oh as a note of interest to anyone that wants to know, Ameria is just the japanese spelling of Amelia coz they don't have an 'L' in the alphabet.   
  
Amelia: Is that even just?   
  
o.0 that was the next question for you actually. I say, it is, but it's also real annoying!   
  
Xelloss: I have the same problem.   
  
Zelgadiss: So do I... *Sigh*  
  
¬_¬ yeh, and I can spell my name 3 different ways in katakana... this isn't relevent! Augh! Lina-san, why are you afraid of Luna-sama? Did you have a tramatizing childhood with her or something?   
  
Lina: I'm not answering!   
  
I think she found out what happens when you sell views of your elder sister washing...   
  
Lina: How do you know!?!  
  
I know all... Amelia, what are your feelings for Gourry-san, Xelly-chan, and Zel-kun?   
  
Amelia: Gourry-san has a good heart and means well, although he can be dumb at ti...  
  
Is it even just to say they infront of him?   
  
Amelia: And Zelgadiss-san we must do our best to help him be happy with him self!!   
  
Zelgadiss: ... Thanks.  
  
Amelia: And as for Xelloss-san. He must learn to be good!   
  
Xelloss: being good is wrong. You must learn to be like me.  
  
Amelia: Xelloss-san, if all you want to do is spread chaos in the....  
  
Xelloss: ah! but you're the one who's trying to...  
  
Not this again.   
  
Female voice in audience: Thats my boy!  
  
Male voice in audience: Show that monster Amelia!   
  
Female Voice: She's wrong.  
  
Male voice: No, My girl is right!  
  
Female Voice: Not!   
  
Great. *rolls eyes* Two Justice freaks vs the Mazoku battles. Thats what I don't need!!   
  
For everyone! Do mazoku have souls?   
  
Lina: maybe  
  
Amelia: Everything has a soul  
  
Zelgadiss: The Are-souls  
  
Xelloss: Thats a secret, Amelia-san, you changed the subject!   
  
fine fine... Doesn't Justice differ by person, their own version? How is it universal then?  
  
Amelia: It is author-san! we all need to live in a just society, and an abs...  
  
Xelloss: *pushes Amelia down the plot hole*   
  
woman: That's my boy!  
  
Man: No! Amelia!   
  
Lina: Lets take this time to relieve ourselves of talking about justice.  
  
Zelgadiss: it would make a nice change.  
  
yeah... Is anyone annoyed by all the mysterious occurances?  
  
All (Except val): yes! *they get covered in custard*  
  
Umm.... bad other author. *pulls Amelia out of the plot hole*   
  
quickly guys... Running out of time here...   
  
This is to Xelloss, if you were to work for any other Dark Lord or stick with Zelas, which would you pick?   
  
Xelloss: *makes a face as if he's been asked to dye his hair red and look like Gaav for eternity* Stick with Zelas, If I have the choice!   
  
And for Filia... Ms. Copt, where do you put all the tea items you carry at?  
  
Xelloss: She puts them... Somewhere!   
  
No, in a Tea-bag!   
  
Filia: you're both not funny. I keep them in a special place.  
  
To Lina.....DO YOU LIKE FIRE!?   
  
Lina: yes!  
  
Zelgadiss: What idiot asked that? -.-;;  
  
Amelia...how long to you think your going to live with the author your putting up with?  
  
Amelia: I don't want to put up with her any longer! She's truely...  
  
*pushes Amelia back down the plot hole*   
  
whatever... Gourry, have you EVER been to a place called "school?"   
  
Gourry: School? Um... isn't it near Seyruune?   
  
Zelgadiss, if you were to find your cure, but loose your abilites, such as swordsman-ship and magic-skills..which would you choose?   
  
Zelgadiss: I'd have to think hard, and it depends on the circumstances. And lots of things really...   
  
Eeeeeee..... Zelgadiss... Answer that later ^^;; Filia. Have you ever heard of another Gold Dragon called "Milgasia?"   
  
Filia: We mentioned him earlier... so, yes.  
  
And this is to the author.....Thats me! ^_^ How much are you enjoying this? A whole lot!! Weeeeee!! More for Xellie...  
If you could fall in love, would you be with Lina, or Filia?   
  
Xelloss: Sore wa...   
  
Valgaav: The golden dragon... thats why he won't answer.   
  
Xelloss: Is not!   
  
Valgaav: So you admit you like the human then?  
  
Xelloss: I said neither of those things.   
  
*sigh and yells down the plot hole* Amelia, why must practically everything be about love and justice, when the real world doesn't always comply with what you want?.... What? Yell louder! He is? I know... Yeah, I love X/A fiction too.   
  
Amelia: *pops head out* I didn't say that! I said we need to change the world! So that stuff like... *points at Valgaav and Xelloss who are battling it out in a game of stone, paper, scissors.* that doesn't happen!   
  
Xelloss: 1..2..3...stone...paper...scissors!  
  
Valgaav: *picks scissors*  
  
Xelloss: *holds up Zelgadiss* Stone! n_n  
  
Zelgadiss: ... put me down....  
  
Xelloss: Okay! *drops Zelgadiss in Valgaav's lap*  
  
Zel/Val: ¬_¬  
  
*pulls Amelia out of the hole and throws her on the sofa* Well, that wraps up another section of crazyiness.... there will be more! Thats a promise! In the mean time, leave reviews and drop some questions! I LOVE writing this fic. Such a bordom killer! I don't care how irrelevent the questions are!  
  
Xelloss: Don't forget to write my request fic.  
  
ah, yeah, Will do Xellie-chan.   
  
Now I'm off to buy myself a Dynast snowcone.   
  
Male voice: ...what?  
  
See you all when I've eaten it!! *Dances off singing But but but* ne, ima made, kimi.... 


	19. mazoku, scissors and tears

Xelloss: This fic is now cancelled. There's a problem with the author. She's a loser ^_^   
  
Bugger off Mazoku ¬_¬ This is my fic. Not yours. Shoo! Back to your seat! Shoo! *ahem* Welcome back to the truth behind Beauty and the Beast... or rather we came back to you. As usual I have a whole buncha questions to ask EVERYONE ^.^;; I mean it. There's all sorts and....*chases Xelloss* SIT DOWN AND GIVE THE QUESTIONS BACK! Don't make me beat you with my Ragna-shovel. *glare*  
  
Xelloss: *sits* One question author-san?  
  
what?   
  
Xelloss: Who thought of asking Phil a question?   
  
Blah. That's not for you to know. Now then. Why is there a christmas deco hanging from Val-chan's horn?   
  
Valgaav: What?  
  
Zelgadiss: Who thought that one up?   
  
Xelloss: No idea ^_^ *Also puts one on Val*   
  
Valgaav: Get ... those... off ...now.  
  
Oh, Lina, could you Noogie Gourry for one of the audience?   
  
Lina: Sure!   
  
Gourry: Whats one of those?  
  
Valgaav: *throws xmas deco's at Xelloss* You're just jealous of my hair.   
  
Xelloss: Why?! Mine's nice and shiny and....  
  
Zelgadiss: and fruity...   
  
Xelloss: and fruity n_n   
  
Valgaav: ugh. *Grumble* If author-san wasn't standing there...  
  
Zelgadiss: Why does he have to sit here? -.-;;   
  
HE JUST DOES!   
  
Zelgadiss: *Grumble*  
  
Valgaav: *Grumble*  
  
Xelloss: *grumble* *Grin* *pokes val*  
  
Valgaav: Haven't you got anything better to do?  
  
Xelloss: Hmm.... no ^-^  
  
Valgaav: Find something!  
  
Xelloss: Hmm....... no. n_n  
  
^_^ They get along so well. Zelly Welly Zel-chan! Would you play your guitar song for the audience? Asking nicely. Pleasy!   
  
Zelgadiss: ...   
  
Well, think about it, hm? *pats Zel's head* Itai... spikey... Before I dive right into this list, Xellie, K-chan wants to know why you don't like Mazoku-filia?  
  
Filia: WHAT-Filia!?  
  
Xelloss: She's no fun! ^^;; Filia here is fun. And more attracti....  
  
Filia: TAKE THAT BACK!   
  
Xelloss: Hmm.... Make me ^_^  
  
Filia: RAAAAAAAAAUGH! *swings mace*  
  
Xelloss: o.0 *Jumps behind val. Mace hits Val*  
  
Filia: Oh no. Valgaav! Forgive me!   
  
Jeez... *Sigh* Well here we go! AMELIA! YOU SUCK AS A "HERO". I can't believe the aswer to my question about an evil son. Just because your a justice freak doesn't mean he'll follow you....etc etc *hands Amelia a note* Read it yourself.   
  
Amelia: O.O *reading* Author-saaaaaaaaaan this is horrible!   
  
Xelloss: ... *takes note* What you think is justice may not be the same as Xelloss or Lina or Zel but that doesn't mean it has less worth than yours. By thinking that you are the worst kind of person that there is. You should learn to shut your mouth, open your eyes, and listen better to what others have to say and then you may accomplish peace in a better way than just being annoying. Well! Thats what I was trying to tell her earlier! She's unjust because she's narrow-minded! ^_^   
  
Amelia: Xelloss-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! I can't believe people think like that!! *Powercries on Zelgadiss*  
  
Zelgadiss: ... I don't know her.  
  
Lina: *Sweatdrop* I think that's over doing it.  
  
Filia: poor Amelia.   
  
Gourry: *offers Amelia a nacho*  
  
Amelia: no thank you Gourry-san. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!   
  
^_______^ I'm not really getting a kick out of that! ^_^ oooooh boys! Valgaav, can you answer this too? Zelgadiss, Xelloss and Gourry. Ever think of cross dressing for the hell of it? I have and its fun!   
  
Zelgadiss: no.  
  
Valgaav: no.  
  
Gourry: Why would anyone want to dress like a cross?  
  
Xelloss: I think it's fun!   
  
No demo's please Xelloss -.-;; we had this earlier.  
  
Xelloss: awww... later then n_n  
  
Maybe, just maybe! ! Umm Author-san, I have to know. Why are you so mean to Amelia-san? Coz it's fun ^_^ And Valgaav-sama, who is your favourite Slayers person? *Blink* Valgaav-sama? ^-^ Val-chaaaaaaaan!  
  
Valgaav: ...Why Gaav-sama of course.  
  
All: *gak*   
  
hey! Leave Gaav alone! *glares at the group* How is it to be reincarnated, Lina-san, Valgaav-sama?   
  
Lina: I only get a 'san'? Not fair.   
  
Valgaav: Well, I deserve the recognition I get.  
  
Lina: I'll show you recognition!   
  
Valgaav: Oh please. Are you going to throw a fireball at me because the audience insulted your pride?  
  
Lina: Yeah!  
  
Valgaav: Well I can counter that! I have a weapon of unimaginable horror!   
  
Lina: *blink blink* You do?   
  
Valgaav: Yes I do, I suggest you back off before I am forced to use it.  
  
Lina: And what might that weapon be Valgaav?  
  
Valgaav: *hold Xelloss infront of him and holds up scissors* One word Lina, and he becomes bald.  
  
Xelloss: O_O Bald?! What did I doooooooo? I didn't do anything!! (Yet)  
  
Gourry: But his hair is already Bowled.  
  
Zelgadiss: ... you done plenty. Amelia, quit wailing on me.  
  
Amelia: The audience hate me!  
  
Valgaav: Well, Lina? Willing to risk it?   
  
Lina: N..n...no. Who knows what could be unleashed. *Sits back down*  
  
So, guys... What is it like to be reincarnated?  
  
Lina: Fuzzy....   
  
Valgaav: Well it's like.... I suggest you stop wriggling or the hair comes right off! It's... I don't remember.  
  
Great! ¬_¬ Why did you go insane, Valgaav-sama? In the desert, why did ya have to beat up the girls so hard? That's not very gentleman like.  
  
Valgaav: isn't that obvious? And Gentlemanliness only applies to Ladies. Now If you would call Lina a Lady....  
  
Lina: Why you....  
  
Valgaav: I have the scissors and the mazoku!   
  
Lina: *grumbles*  
  
Hehehe. Xellie.......you are a fruit bat... Gourry, he's not really a fruit bat, it's a figure of speech, now that? A funny fruit, but a fruit  
  
Xelloss: ^_^ Up with fruits! and Up with miniskirts!  
  
Zelgadiss: Freak.  
  
Valgaav: isn't he just? Sorry IT just.  
  
Xelloss: eheheh. Let me go now? ^^;;   
  
Valgaav: Hmm..... no.^-^  
  
Scary....*looks at Lina stuffing her face* Lina.......that's really not healhtly you know. Phibby looks real cute as a neko, did you know that? And Filia isn't bad as a cat either.....  
  
o.0 No one hurt me!! I was just reading it out! I'd never ever draw Phibby-sama as a kawaii l'il kitty cat eating Icecream. Honest!!   
  
Gourry: Why'd you say about icecream? Did you draw Phibby eating Icecream as a kitty?  
  
Noooooooooooo! Never! *Sweatdrop* Never ever! Um... Amelia's out of it for the moment. And... *pushes Lina down the plot hole and then Xelloss* Ahem! Quickfire time! To Phil - Where did you get your Justice kick?  
  
Phil: It comes to all who fight for justice. Hahaha!   
  
Luna, What do you think Of Lina using the Giga Slave? Twice an an attempted 3rd time? Luna? ... Luna?  
  
Female voice: She's doing overtime. Needs more cash.   
  
oooooooooh right. Valgaav, Did you really get that horn at Walmart? (for us Non-americans, thats a really cool Supermarket ^-^ Actually. It's more like what us Europeans would call a hyper-market )  
  
Valgaav: Where? -.-;; What?  
  
Filia, Ahem! Why frills?! Can't you go without them?  
  
Filia: I like the attention to detail   
  
Lina, Did you really destroy a bay with the Giga Slave and Luna caught you? Lina? ... oh yeah, she's down the plothole. Damn. Zelas, Do you mind being a mommie wolf?  
  
Zelas: A what now? You authors are very wierd.  
  
We try ^_^ Dynast, How long did it take to keep that "..." expression and be so monotone?  
  
Dynast: ...  
  
Well said! Dolphin, umm... ooooooookay, do the fishes fight the plants?  
  
Dolphin: FISHIES! fishie fishie!   
  
yeah do they fight with the plants?   
  
Dolphin: PLANT?! 0_o *hides*  
  
...whatever. Gourry, ever think of going with twin double blade swords?  
  
Gourry: What? like on both sides?   
  
yeah.  
  
Gourry: I like MY sword!  
  
Zelgadiss , Did *Snicker* ...Rezo.... use*snicker* .... you... oh I can't say it with a straight face.... use you as a doorstop?  
  
Zelgadiss: That is not funny author-san.  
  
Amelia, Pratice Justice often? she's crying... Xelloss, do mazoku have souls? Yes or no?   
  
Xelloss: *teleports out of the plothole* Yes. ^-^   
  
  
Good timing ^_^ Xelloss do you like David Moo? And why did you react so negatively to the Marriage Ball problem if you enjoy annoying her? Going along with it would have irritated her to no end.  
  
Xelloss: MOO WHO?! Anyway, I couldn't go along with it. Ihave an image to keep up and it would have irritated me too. so there.   
  
Fine.... The L/x pairing is okay but its kinda weird. I mean, if he cant love Filia or be paired up with her then why Lina?And what does subarashii mean?  
  
Zelgadiss: Well Lina is human, and dangerous... Filia is a dragon.  
  
Lina: WHO ASKED YOU?!   
  
Zelgadiss: ... Subarashii means 'wonderful!' ... next question author-san?   
  
Okay ^_^ I was just wondering, would the fact that they've (Xel and Fil) fused their magic make it at all easier for them to get along in any way? And if they DID have a kid, would that kid be able to use BOTH brands of magic, maybe even be able to do magic fusion and/or fission by themselves? Oh, just one more thing, can I get some DNA samples?   
  
Filia: ... I thought we'd changed the subject! Argh!   
  
Xelloss: Umm... She's still foul and disagreable. Kid that could use both magics.... hmm....   
  
Valgaav: you're going to be bald.  
  
Xelloss: hey. I was just considering something... It might work.... *Shakes head* Don't give people Ideas like that!   
  
Filia: I have to agree! And no DNA samples!   
  
Aww... I was hoping for some genetics experiments. Oh well. Well, chuck any questions this way. Who likes X/A fics?!   
  
Xelloss: -.-;; she has issues  
  
_____  
pleasey reviewy! 


	20. Val vs Xel vs Minna

... Before I procede with the chapter we have an announcement to make. 

Xelloss: After today this fic will no longer be updated on Fanfiction.net.

It will be at http://homepage.ntlworld.com/narushinjo/debatefic and will continue the on going debate of X/F fiction... and all other pointless questions asked ^^;; please review the fic, _**email**_ in questions

Xelloss: Questions left on the review system will be ignored and possibly scorned in the next chapter for readers having not taken notice of our warning.

Scorned, Xelloss? 

Xelloss: n.n Scorned, mocked, laughed at, taken the pi... 

yeah okay... and I'm hoping for many new questions to be asked! 

Xelloss: Or not.

Filia: Not is good. 

Lina: is it time for dinner yet? 

No, but I can smell mine ^-^ 

Lina: You'd better share some of that.

Amelia: Miss Lina's scary... 

Gourry: And smal.......

Lina: FIREBALL!! 

Zelgadiss: How over used that joke is, has been and always will be. *sigh*

Valgaav: *fetches coffee for himself and Zelgadiss* -.-;; it's gonna be a long fic. 

Zelgadiss: I noticed.

Xelloss: Idea.... *lowers voice* We could ambush author-san and then escape.

Filia: Nobody wants to follow up an idea by _him _right? 

Xelloss: Meanie. 

Zelgadiss: What a mature conversation. *sips coffee* 

Well... Will you people get your act together? Lets move on with some questions, eh? 

Xelloss: Question for author-san!! 

...what? 

Xelloss: Don't you think it's cruel to make the cast answe....

Not at all! n.n lets carry on.... Here we go... question for Xellie...

Xelloss: Who's Xellie? 

Gourry: *points at Zelgadiss* 

Question for purple Xellie... Xelloss ...if you and Filia were trapped in a dimension where there were _**only**_ dragons on that planet, and you had no powers whatsoever to kill them off or anything...would you consider becoming nice towards the dragon race? ALSO May I add that in this dimension Zelas isn't there to order you to like..kill dragons...or anything. ^^ Oh also another thing to add...^__^ I'm a big fan of you!!

Xelloss: n.n Big Fan... makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... 

Valgaav: Knowing him... that fuzzy feeling is indigestion from the last 'big fan' he ate.... 

That didn't answer the question did it? Answer it.... 

Xelloss: Well.... of course n.n If there were only dragons on the planet and I was on the planet, I would, therefore, be a dragon. And I'd have to be nice. There. Answered. 

Can't argue with him, he has answered it. Anyways... Amelia, did you create the Vis Farank? 

Gourry: What's a Vis Farank? 

Lina: Aaaaaah! it's that stupid spell for smacking baddies with fists!! Can't you even remeber a simple thing like that? And give my chicken back! *dust cloud fight ensues*

Amelia: Lina-san.... it's not very just to beat Gourry-san up... he can't help being stupid. 

Zelgadiss: Isn't it unjust to call people stupid? *sips Coffee* 

Valgaav: But it's also unjust to lie

Zelgadiss: True. *sips coffee in unison with Val* 

And how do you say 'Life is wonderful' in Japanese? 'zen zen subarashii desu' , I believe. Oh, also Amelia-sama, please consider listening to a person's side before forming an opinion. That's TRUE justice. 

Lina: Besides, it's **my **job to say stuff like that! 

Amelia: That's because mean you're mean Lina-san! 

*shuffles papers* I pick on Ameila because.... She annoys me n.n Naga annoys me, but I don't pick on her.... o.o She might laugh at me!! So... the one out there who threatened to cut off Lina's hair and replace it with Xelloss' wig .... 

Lina / Xelloss: HEY!

Calm down you two.... jeez... Valgaav, who is your favourite slayer besides Gaav and dragons? Namely who's your fav human? And yes Zelgadiss-sama is Human. 

Valgaav: hmmm.... favourite... Well, let me think... human... Xelloss!

Xelloss: I'm not human n.n

Valgaav: No, but you were poking me with something purple.

Xelloss: I like purple n.n

Valgaav: It suits you, you're a big plum 

Xelloss: And you look like a christmas tree. 

Valgaav: You only say that because your dorky little pudding bowl haircut pales in comparison to the coolness of my hair...

Xelloss: But mine is shiny ^^ 

Valgaav: And you're a fruitcake.

Xelloss: Lizard ^^ 

Valgaav: okay then, you're a lizard.

Xelloss: not me, you are.... 

Aren't they kawaii when bickering? Mind you, I think this fight will go on _forever, _let's see.... next question.... *ducks pie thrown by audience member* I resent this, I am not Unjust! Amelia is unjust!

Amelia: Author-saaaaaaaaaaaan! 

Quiet... one more word out of you and its... its... Gaav/Amelia fiction on my to do pile.

All: o.o *silence* 

Xelloss: Not only that, but someone stuck an ice cream cone on your head.

Valgaav: Better than BEING an ice cream cone.

Xelloss: Tasty all over, that's me ^.~

Valgaav: uuuurg.... 

Well, I told ya this would keep going for a while. I better finish it though... XELLOSS!! Answer these next two questions or I'll make you watch "The new improved of Adventures of Barney the purple Dinosaur and his visit to Disney World." 

Xelloss: *sits up to attention* Fire away Author-san! 

Right, first off... What's your take on the possibility of having a sibling? 

Xelloss: Fooooooood! ^^ 

Did I mention these answers have to be satisfactory? 

Xelloss: Nope ^^ but since you're in that kind of vengeful, scary... and all mighty fantastic best ever author mode, I'll revise my answer. Depends on the sibling. I'd like one I could boss around and bully ^^ because I'm number one! 

Gourry: *raises hand* Uhh.... thinking of which, I need a number one and a number two....

Valgaav: Number two is right there Gourry *points at Xelloss* 

Xelloss: ... Author-san... Stop making them pick on me. Or, I'll go on strike. 

At which point I'll make Valgaav my favourite muse. 

Xelloss: Whats the next question?

Gourry: Where's the bathroom?

Xelloss: Good question! It's a secret. 

Gourry: But! 

No, it's over there. Hurry Gourry. Xelloss next question... Have you... 

Xelloss: Wait, I answered the next TWO like you said... 

I meant from me. *Issues warning look* have you ever gotten into Zelas-sama's stash and consequentally drunk? 

Xelloss: *Shakes head* And if I had I don't think I'd remember, there's some potent stuff down there. 

Slip me a couple of bottles and I'll do you a request fic ^^ 

Xelloss: Get it yourself.

Eh, fine, Lina... Where on Earth do you manage to buy clothes like that? 

Lina: Earth... I don't.

Oh jeez, don't ANY of you give straight answers? 

Zelgadiss: It would appear not.

*sigh* Well fine, I see what goes on around here. Won't let me run an organised fic will you? No. Xelloss, take over for me. I'm going to get some caffine.

Xelloss: bai bai Author-san! *Waves and doesn't notice author-san's favourite author sneak on set and give Filia cat ears and cat tail, Zelgadiss duck feet and beak, Amelia gets butterfly antennae and wings, she puts a jellyfish costume on Gourry, a peacock tail on Lina and cow horns and tail on Valgaav. Finally, Digi-Riven manages to put bunny ears and tail on Xelloss... and none of the crew notice O.o* 

Xelloss: Okay folks, thank you for attending The Truth Behind Beauty and The Beast Debate fic, I hope you all had a thoroughly awful time and by the way, the rice cakes were indeed laced with laxatives. So if you would all form an orderly queue for our one cubicle unisex toilet who would be delighted to take your waste... 

Valgaav: *shakes head*

Gourry: *Whines* But I just went!! 

Lina: They were laced with what?! 

Zelgadiss: Typically ridiculous.... 

Gourry: What's a laxatives? 

Lina: O.o *whispers to Gourry* that's what! You Jellyfish!!!!! 

Gourry: o.o Why would someone do that? 

Valgaav: Xelloss wants to make himself some friends ;; 

Xelloss: *Facefaults* Well, at least I wouldn't have to go to the ZOO to make friends! 

Valgaav: nope, just the local cess pit. 

Xelloss: *rolls up sleeves* Bring it on.

... I leave the fic for a few minutes and ... SIT DOWN, NO FIGHTING AND SHUT UP! 

Xelloss: *bounds back to his seat* Just you wait until this fic is finished.... 

Gourry: *using Lina's tail as a fan* 

Zelgadiss: What in the blazes....? *removes animal parts* ... 

Valgaav: .... *also removes animal parts closely imitated by everyone else except Gourry and Xelloss* 

Xelloss: Why do I get the bunny? *tugs ears* ... come off! *tugs again* Why won't they come off? 

Valgaav: *hides L-sama strength superglue behind his back* 

Okay next questions..... last of the day.... 

Filia would you think dragons are a Chaotic Order?

Filia: There's nothing Chaotic about us. 

Xelloss: nooooo nothing at all Filia ^^ 

Filia: just WHAT is that supposed to mean? 

Xelloss: Well, that is.....

Filia: Go on, say it's a secret! I dare you! 

Xelloss: no ^^ 

Filia: Ohoho.... why not? 

Xelloss: Beacuse you told me to, I do take orders from dragons.

Audience member: That's my boy! 

Xelloss, mazoku are and Ordered Chaos then?

Xelloss: You could say that. 

Okay, what does everyone else have to say about that?

Lina: Get out of that stupid costume Gourry!

Gourry: But it's comfortable

Zelgadiss: ...

Amelia: Where did those costumes come from any way? 

Valgaav: Looks like no one was listening

... Never mind. ^^;;; So if anyone has any questions, hurl them at me, and I'll throw them at the group. I even have the Dark Lords don't forget, and I can get ANYONE in here! But at the end of the day, the topic is Xelloss/Lina.... I mean Xelloss/Filia. Do you think Martina was an option? How about Yaoi? any questions regarding that? ... Commercial break! See ya!

****

Dynast: .... 

Dynast: ....

Dynast: .... I refuse to do a stupid commercial. *Walks off*

****

^^;; Dragons are a chaotic order and mazoku are ordered chaos are Digi-Riven's lines.... Don't steal them with out giving her credit ^^ 

Xelloss: I would like to take this opportunity to offer everyone present a laxati... err... chocolate covered rice cake and thank you all for attending The Truth behind Beauty and The Beast here ^^;; Your payments for refreshments, entrance and any goods you may have purchased that were advertised in the commercial breaks have all be diverted to funding many needy causes, including Zelas' nicotine patch supply, Gaav's new coat and most importantly destroying the worl.... err... disney world ^^;; Please have a safe journey home and run over as many pedestrians and animals you can. If any one has a vehicle big enough, I'd also appreciate it if you ran over a few dragons so further debates like this cannot arise. The author would like many emails... preferably telling her_ never _to write any more fiction about everyones favourite mazoku ^.~ You can find me giving out autographs out back and if any fangirls want to give me any more than that in return well, you won't hear me complaining. 

Valgaav: Ugh ... *leaves* 

Xelloss: Well, it sounds like eveyone else has escaped and the author is about to kill me, so remember what I said and we'll see you all in hel....

At my website! *chases Xelloss*

Xelloss: Ja ne! 

  
  



End file.
